Masochistic
by Mellos Mayushi
Summary: Byakuya Kuchiki's miserable daughter has been placed in the care of the Kurosaki family. But when she starts to fall in love with the two people Captain Kuchiki won't allow, will things only get worse in her eyes? UuryuXOC SzayelXOC
1. Kuchiki Ame

A/N: Yes, this is my first Bleach fanfic. I know it's gonna suck, but please be gentle, okay?

Hichigo: Maybe if you didn't suck so bad, you wouldn't have to ask for the readers to be nice.

That hurts, Hichigo!

Hichigo: You'll get over it.

Disclaimer…

Hichigo: The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Now, it begins!

Masochistic- Chapter 1: Kuchiki Ame

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

I sat in Kurosaki Isshin's living room in a gigai, waiting for Otoosama to finish talking to the Kurosaki family. I don't know why, but Otoosama was trying to find somewhere besides the Soul Society for me to live. Maybe he didn't want me anymore… I do look scarily like Okaasama, so it might hurt him to look at me… And when I'm in the Soul Society, I mess everything up, and I seem like such a burden. I always get in Lieutenant Abarai's way, and Otoosama always seems so disappointed in me…I don't even know how I became a third seat, much less a Shinigami…

"Alright then. I'm trusting your family with her, Kurosaki." I heard Otoosama say before he walked out of the room he and Kurosaki Isshin were in and towards me. "Ame."

I straightened my posture and looked straight at him, making eye contact. "Yes, Otoosama?" I asked in the most polite voice I could muster.

"I'm trusting the Kurosaki family with you, alright? I've noticed that in the Soul Society, you sit near your window in your room when we're at home, and you look miserable. Like when Hisana…" He looked away from me. My eye color was the same as Okaasama's, so my eyes remind him of her. "Right then…I just want you to be happy. Your mother would want that."

I nodded. "I understand, sir."

"I'll send Renji to check on you every so often." With that, he left, and one of Kurosaki's daughters- the blonde one- ran in and approached me.

"Hello! I'm Yuzu! You're going to be staying with us, right? What's your name?" She asked me. She was so cheerful and free. I wish I could be more like her.

"I'm Kuchiki Ame. It's nice to meet you, Kurosaki Yuzu." I said, smiling and ruffling the hair on the top of her head. I'd never done much of anything in my life. I was raised as a noble and treated like one. I barely had any freedom at all, so it was nice to be able to touch people without getting weird looks for it.

"You don't have to be so formal here, it's okay to loosen up a bit." I was surprised. Everyone I knew usually told me I had to be formal. I was loving it here already. "Oh, and you're staying in Ichigo's closet. We don't have anywhere else for you, sorry."

"It's alright. Can someone show me where Ichigo's closet is?"

Yuzu smiled and grabbed my hand, forcing me to stand. "Come on, Ame!" She then took me upstairs and into one of the rooms. The room was fairly small in comparison to mine in the Soul Society. "There it is." She pointed to another door in the room, and I slid open the door. It was even smaller in here. I really like this place.

"Dad, Karin, Yuzu, I'm home!" I heard a voice call from downstairs.

"Oh, Ichigo's home! I need to go start dinner! Just stay here and wait for Ichigo, alright?"

I nodded. "Alright." I replied. I sat in the substitute Shinigami's closet, waiting for him to come up. I had forgotten what he looked like, only that he had an absurdly bright color for his hair…

Then, as if on cue, he came into the room, and flopped onto his bed. "Ugh, I'm exhausted…"

"Kurosaki Ichigo?"

He immediately sat up and looked at me, alarmed. "Rukia? What are you doing back in my closet?" then he realized that my was hair longer and in a white-cloth-wrapped ponytail. I also had that large bang that Aunt Rukia did. "Oh. You're not Rukia. Who the hell are you, and why are you in my house?"

I bowed my head. "Kuchiki Ame, heir to the Kuchiki clan and Third Seat of the 6th Division of the 13 Court Guard Squads of the Soul Society. Otoosama realized that I was miserable in the Soul Society and entrusted your family with me. Your father agreed to it."

He looked at me before sighing and scratching the back of his head. "Well, I guess that means you're coming to school with me now… Just be careful of Kon. He can be a real pervert." 'Kon'? Kurosaki Ichigo has a brother? And judging by the name, shouldn't he be a good person?

"HEY, ICHIGO! LET ME OUTTA THIS BAG, WILLYA?" I heard someone yell. I looked curiously at Ichigo's schoolbag and tilted my head. Why was his bag talking?

"Alright, calm down, Kon!" Kurosaki opened his schoolbag and pulled out a stuffed toy lion.

"Geez, Ichigo, I almost died of heatstroke in there!"

"Um…" I interrupted. "It's winter, Kurosaki Kon." Then I realized what I was talking to, and covered my mouth with both of my hands to keep from bursting into laughter. I'd almost forgotten how to laugh back home in the Soul Society.

"I'm not a Kurosaki! I'm not related to this carrot-top! I am the mighty Kon!"

I giggled. He thought so highly of himself, and he wasn't much scarier than a doll of Yuki The Duck! "You're rather adorable for someone who thinks as great as Head Captain!" I picked him up and looked at him. He certainly was an interesting little plush doll. "How do you talk like us?"

"He's a mod soul." Ichigo answered.

This struck something in my mind. "A mod soul? I was unaware they still made those."

"They don't. Kon's one of the few that survived."

I gasped. "Oh, I see… So, Aunt Rukia goes to your school, too, right?"

"Yeah, she should be home soon. She got an order for one of those small fry hollows, so it shouldn't take her long."

I looked him in the eyes. "You shouldn't underestimate any hollow. Some look weaker than they are." I was honestly talking about an arrancar instead of a hollow, but he really didn't look like much at first.

"Boy, have I learned that lesson…"

"Gomen…I have that drilled into my head now… Otoosama always tells me not to underestimate my enemies."

"Good teacher."

"So, you brought another woman in the house, Ichigo?" Kon asked before jumping onto my chest. "I'm so grateful!"

"KON! Stop that! If Byakuya sees you doing that, you'll be killed. Not that I care. You've been awfully annoying all day…"

The stuffed toy soul jumped off of me and onto Ichigo's head. "I'm sure this fine lady would be against killing me, right?" He then looked at me hopefully.

"Well…" I began. "I'm not really one for unnecessary violence…"

"See, Ichigo? She knows how to be nice!"

"Ichigo! Ame! Dinner's ready!" I heard Yuzu call. And right now, food sounded nice to me. I was really getting tired of Kurosaki and Kon bickering…

"Alright, coming!" Ichigo yelled back. "Come on, Ame." He grabbed my wrist and dragged me out of the room and down the stairs. "After dinner, you're probably gonna wanna go to bed. We gotta get up early for school in the morning."

I was already liking it here. I know it sounds cliché, but it was nice to not be spoiled for once in my life. Another plus, the elders wouldn't be able to try and get me to marry some other moron of nobility. I wonder…isn't this the town that that one boy lives in? The one I saw when I was little?

A/N: Ooh! I wonder who the boy she's talking about is?

Hichigo: I know, it's-

(Covers Hichigo's mouth) They'll find out in the next chapter, you moron!

Hichigo: (muffled) Fine…

Nel: Read and Review!


	2. Ishida Uuryu

A/N: Well, here's chapter 2 if you didn't think chapter 1 totally sucked.

Hichigo: Well, in my opinion, it wasn't worth shit.

That's so mean!

Hichigo: I'm one of the longest running villains in Bleach. I'm supposed to be mean.

I'm replacing you with someone nicer in the next chapter…

Hichigo: Wait, what?

Just do the damn disclaimer!

Hichigo: The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Onward!

Masochistic- Chapter 2: Ishida Uuryu

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

I followed Kurosaki to class the next day, and tried to be as inconspicuous as possible…

But my hairstyle got me weird looks and my inability to me informal got in the way, too… I felt like a non-seated Shinigami in a captain's meeting- so out of place…

"Hey Ame!" I heard Kurosaki call from behind me. I turned to look at him and he was halfway standing in a classroom a few feet back. "You walked right past it, ditz."

I heard a few kids giggle at my stupidity, and I blushed in embarrassment. "Coming, Kurosaki-san…" I replied, quickly running to his side. "Gomen nasai…"

He held his hand up, and I flinched, ready to be hit. Instead, he placed his hand on the top of my head and ruffled what he could of my hair. "Calm down, Ame. It's fine. Come on, maybe Rukia's in the classroom."

We walked in, and sure enough, Aunt Rukia was in her seat, talking to a brown-haired boy. "Aunt Rukia!" I ran over to said Shinigami and knocked her out of her chair hugging her.

She hit the floor and laughed. "Ame when did you get here?" She asked. Then her face went serious. "_How_ did you get here, and where are you staying?"

"Yesterday, Otoosama, and Kurosaki Ichigo's."

"Oh. Formal as ever." She smiled.

"Hard to change, Aunt Rukia."

"You're an aunt, Rukia?" The brown-haired boy from before asked.

"Yes, my brother's daughter." I helped Aunt Rukia up as I stood up myself. "Ame, this is Keigo Asano. Keigo, this is my niece, Ame Kuchiki."

I turned to Keigo and bowed. "It's very nice to meet you, Asano-san." I straightened up and looked at him.

He ruffled my hair, and had a big, goofy smile. "Heya, Ame-chan!" He shouted before turning to Ichigo. "You sure have a knack for getting acquainted with the new girls, don'cha, Ichigo?" He winked at Ichigo and tapped his elbow to the orange-haired boys ribs.

"Keigo, you're such an idiot…" Kurosaki replied.

"Aw, come on, Ichigo…"

I looked around the room, tuning out Asano and Kurosaki. All of the students looked relatively normal, but there was one girl who reminded me of Lieutenant Matsumoto of Squad 10 because of her large breast size and her orange hair. I scanned all of the seats in hopes of finding that one-

He _is_ here. That boy when I was little and I followed Otoosama into the human world.

Now, what was his name..? His last name was Ishida, I know that much… And he wasn't a Shinigami… What _was_ he?

I decided to walk over to him and ask. I remember that one time… He was halfway behind a tree, and he was so much younger… At his current age, he looks so serious, but back then, he was so scared…

_**Enter Ame Kuchiki's Flashback**_

I was so little…maybe seven or eight in human years. And he… he wasn't much older if not the same age. I was just standing in a tree while Otoosama and another Shinigami approached an elderly man's dead body. The small bluish-black-haired boy was too traumatized to hear me yell.

"Otoosama! He died two hours ago, why are we only coming to his aid now? We should've been there when the hollows were here!" I had shouted. I'd known what Otoosama had done was wrong.

And when he came back over to me, he simply said, "Because he was a Quincy."

Later, just before we returned to the Soul Society, I ran back to the home of this Quincy, and the boy from before was sitting on the front steps, crying. His glasses were right at my feet, and I was halfway behind the side of his house.

I picked them up and walked over to the saddened male.

"Are these yours?" I had to be sure, you never know.

He'd gasped and looked over at me. "Who are you?" He demanded.

"Don't you want your glasses so you can see me better?" I held them out to him, and he quickly recovered them from my hand, placing them back on his face.

He blinked the tears from his deep blue eyes and asked again, "Who are you?"

I smiled and bowed. "Ame Kuchiki."

He pushed his glasses up. "You're a spirit, aren't you?"

"Uh-huh."

"Hollows haven't come after you, though." His eyes welled up and he stared at the ground. "G-Grandfather would have said something. He always told me about the spirits he saved…"

I had gotten on my knees next to him and put my right hand on his arm. "Don't cry. He had no regrets, and he was a good man. He'll have a good afterlife."

He took off his glasses and wiped away his tears. "Yeah…you're right…" He put them back on and leaned on me. "It's still not fair…"

"I know… I lost Okaasama when I was three…" My eyes welled up as I spoke. "Otoosama always told me that it's hard to lose the people you love. But when they die, as a man named Kaien told me, their hearts stay with the people they love and care about. He also told me you should never die alone, and really, you were right there, so he didn't. So your grandfather is still with you!"

He gasped. "R-really?"

I nodded. "Uh-huh. Right here. "I touched my hand to his heart and smiled.

"Oh…"

"What's your name?"

"Uuryu Ishida…"

And for a week afterwards, I stayed and played with Ishida Uuryu.

That is, until Otoosama found me and took me back to the Soul Society.

_**End Ame Kuchiki's Flashback**_

Ishida Uuryu. That was his name. I walked up to him and put my right hand on his arm, causing him to gasp, and his hair swaying forward as his head shot back. "Ishida Uuryu?"

**Uuryu Ishida's POV**

Who is this girl? She must be that new student, and she's a Shinigami just like Ichigo and Rukia. I turned my head to look at her and wondered how she knew me. "Who are you?" I asked.

"Kuchiki Ame." She replied with a smile.

'Ame Kuchiki'? Why does her entire name ring a-

"_Who are you?"_

"_Ame Kuchiki."_

"_You're a spirit, aren't you?"_

"_Uh-huh."_

Back when I was little, after my Grandfather was killed.

"_What's your name?"_

"_Uuryu Ishida…"_

Then a week later, I came home, and…

_**Enter Uuryu Ishida's Flashback**_

"Ame?" I'd called when I came home from school that day. "You didn't follow me to school like you usually do. Are you feeling okay?"

I'd gotten no answer, and so I kicked off my shoes and ran around the house, in desperate search of my dear spirit friend.

I looked all over the building, in all he favorite and least favored places, and yelled for her. "Ame! Ame? Ame?"

When I was sure she wasn't home, I put my shoes back on as fast as I could and ran out the door, searching her favorite spots in town first, and then mine, and then the places we did our best to avoid. But when I couldn't find her, I sulked all the way home in the dark of the night.

I walked in the door and didn't bother to remove my shoes. I went to my room and flopped on my bed, my glasses in my hand, and soon on my bedside table. My eyes welled up and overflowed- my best and only friend was gone.

Then, a rustling sound put hope in my heart, and I put my glasses back on and ran into the kitchen, where the sound was coming from. The noise was louder near the sink and I opened the cabinet under it. But to my dismay, what pounced on me wasn't Ame-chan, it was a Tanuki which then jumped out of the window above the sink. I climbed onto the counter and closed it before returning to my room and sitting in a fetal position on my bed, crying myself to sleep.

_**End Uuryu Ishida's Flashback**_

I stared into her large purple eyes, growing increasingly angered. "You…" I began, my eyes welling up. "You _abandoned_ me!" I stood up as I screamed this at her. Everyone in the classroom stared at us both, but I didn't care.

She jumped, retracting her hand from my arm. Her eyes widened and welled up. "No, Ryu-kun, I-"

"Don't talk to me, especially not like we're still friends. Just stay away from me." I grabbed all of my things and left the classroom. I had to skip class, just this once. I couldn't stand to be around her right now.

A/N: Well, now. That was… dramatic.

Hichigo: Even _I'll_ admit, that was pretty dramatic.

I just pointed that out, dumbass.

Hichigo: Whatever, you moron.

Okay, I'm definitely replacing you in the next chapter.

Nel: Read and Review!


	3. Granz Szayel Aporro

A/N: And here's chapter three! And, as I said in the last chapter, I am replacing Hichigo Shirosaki. Please welcome my new co-host… Kukaku Shiba!

Kukaku: Heya, everyone!

It's nice to have you here, Kukaku.

Kukaku: It feels good to be able to show up in fanfics a bit more, Mellos Mayushi. And I can get away from my idiot brother, Ganju…

He can be rather annoying at times… Do you mind doing the disclaimer, Kukaku?

Kukaku: Not at all. Alright, listen up, lawsuit junkies! The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Thank you, Kukaku. Now, on to the chapter!

Masochistic- Chapter 3: Granz Szayel Aporro

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

I was lying in Ichigo's closet late that night, wondering what I'd done wrong. Uuryu didn't even give me time to explain what happened. He just blew up and stormed off…

Tears rolled down my cheeks as I heard a beeping sound. I reached beside me and picked up my Soul Pager. I flipped it open and gasped. I looked at all the bright dots on the map. So many hollows…where were they all coming from?

I swallowed a piece of Soul Candy and burst out of my gigai. I then opened the door to the closet and ran over to Ichigo. "Kurosaki-san!" I yelled, shaking him in his sleep. He immediately woke up, hearing the urgency in my voice, I suppose.

"What is it, Ame?" He asked, sitting up. I opened my Soul Pager again and showed it to him.

"Look, Kurosaki-san!"

His eyes widened and he ran over to Kon, pulling a piece of Soul Candy out of his mouth and swallowing it. As soon as he was out, Kon began to lose his mind. "What the hell, Ichigo? I was sleeping!" He snapped.

"How many are there, total?" Kurosaki asked me.

"On this map…17." I answered.

"Come on, Ame, let's go." He jumped out of the window, and I followed him.

"Twenty."

Ichigo growled at this update. "No doubt…it's one of the Espada…"

I gasped. I'd never faced a member of the Espada before, but I knew they were dangerous Arrancars. I ran faster towards the strongest signal, and I soon arrived at a peculiar-looking arrancar.

He looked much different from others. He was standing on the sidewalk, surrounded by weaker hollows. He looked almost human. I didn't even see a mask on him, only a pair of glasses.

"Oh? A Shinigami? I didn't expect that…" he stated, then he disappeared. I looked left and right until he appeared right in front of me. He took my chin in his glove-covered hand and examined my face thoroughly, his shoulder-length pink hair brushing against it. "A rather _cute_ Shinigami at that…" It was then that I noticed that his glasses _were_ his mask.

I jumped back, pulling out of his grasp, and I could've sworn I saw dismay in his eyes, but I disregarded this. I unsheathed my zanpakuto and pointed it at him. I actually held my zanpakuto in the opposite direction most did. I held it like a dagger or kunai. "Who the hell are you?" I asked.

He held his hands up halfway and stepped back. "Where are my manners? I am the 8th Espada, better known as Szayel Aporro Granz."

My eyes widened. "'Granz?'" I lowered my blade a bit and kept eye contact with him. "Any relation to Granz Yylfordt?"

His lips curled over his teeth in a murderous frown. "Yes. He was my older brother."

I laughed lightly. "Judging by the harshness in your voice, I take it you didn't get along well?"

"Not really."

"Well, at least you're only the 8th Espada and not one of the top five…"

He laughed loudly. "I've heard a similar line from a Quincy! Tell me, what abilities are you capable of?"

Something he said struck something in my head. "A Quincy?"

"What rank are you, Shinigami?"

"…I'm the Third Seat of the 6th Division of the Soul Society, Kuchiki. Ame Kuchiki."

The corners of his mouth pulled back into a pleased grin. "Nobility, and a Third Seat! Would you say you've earned that title? Kuchiki and Third Seat?"

"No." My reply was instant. I didn't feel like a Kuchiki half the time, and I never seemed powerful enough to be even a Third Seat. "Neither."

And as I replied negatively, his excited expression softened into concern. "Fight me, and we'll see where it goes. Release your zanpakuto, if you don't, you really won't stand a chance."

"…You asked for it." I pressed the hilt of my zanpakuto to my chest where my heart is and gripped it tightly. "Cover me with the veil of the night…" I felt the darkness around me creep into my blade as another hilt appeared on the other end, and I grabbed that end with my free hand, They formed into elbow blades just before I said my zanpakuto's name. "Yoru!" I pulled the two blades apart and held them both in a kunai fashion. Then, a pitch black smoke-screen spread for yards. I could see Granz, but he couldn't see me. I darted in several different directions, enjoying his confused and concerned facial expressions. Once I was sure I found an opening, I dashed for it and sliced open his side. "Got you!"

"Now, this is a disadvantage, Ame!" I heard his voice call, but the Szayel Aporro that was in front of me wasn't moving a muscle.

"What?" I turned to see the real Granz just before he stabbed me in the stomach. I fell to my knees and dropped my released zanpakuto, grasping the wound. I groaned in pain. This really wasn't a good idea…

"Your abilities have high quality, but your strategy needs more work." My smoke-screen dispersed as my zanpakuto reverted. I coughed and nothing but a fountain of blood came up.

**Szayel Aporro Granz's POV**

I looked down at the Shinigami on the ground and looked left and right for what to do. Did she really have no allies? I heard movement and looked down at her again, only to be stabbed in the place identical to where I'd wounded her. "Got you…that time…" She gasped. I stared at her, pulling her blade out of my stomach. I saw a slight smile appear on her lips and I wondered what for. And before I knew it, she passed out.

I turned one of my hollows into a healing orb and held it in my hand as I got on my knees next to the female Shinigami. She really was beautiful… I placed my hand on her forehead as I devoured half of what used to be a hollow. It only took that much to heal my wound, so I put the rest of it down her throat. I managed to do so without suffocating or choking her, and this pleased me, though I didn't know why.

_Why the hell was I even healing her? _I took another long look at her, and I told myself a lie. I hated her. But it was a lie. But if I didn't hate her then what was she to me? What reason did I have for healing her? Nothing made sense right now!

Once I got back to Hueco Mundo, maybe things would make more sense…

"Granz! What are you doing?" I heard the voice of my least favorite blue-haired arrancar yell.

I looked over at him as he walked over to me. "What now, Jeagerjaques?

"What are you doing? She's gone isn't she? Unless…did you heal her?" His eyes widened.

"It's the same as when you had Inoue heal Kurosaki. So you could kick his ass." I looked intently at the Shinigami at my knees, waiting for her injuries to heal up. I hated Grimmjow, he's such a pest…

**Grimmjow Jeagerjaques' POV**

Granz is the worst liar ever. He wasn't healing her for that purpose. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if it was like me and Riva. It's obvious he's in love with her. Well, time to get him to admit it.

"Hey, Szayel." I said.

"What, Grimmjow?" He asked harshly. He never really got along with anyone. Little miss perfect… And yeah, I meant to call him 'miss'! Suits pinky better…

"If you were me…"

"Why the hell would I _want_ to be you?" I knew he was gonna say that.

"Would this Kuchiki girl be Riva?"

His body shot into a straight-backed position on his knees. "What the hell do you mean by that?"

"Is she the Shiba to your Jeagerjaques? It's a simple question. And you're supposed to be the smart one…Nerd…"

I actually saw red appear on his face.

Got him. "Well are you gonna answer the question?"

"No, Grimmjow, she's not!" He glared at me coldly, but I didn't care.

"Liar."

"Prove it!

I poked his nose and he fixed his eyes on my finger. "Your face is red, Granz. You like the Shinigami Kuchiki girl. Just admit it, and it'll make you feel better."

He pushed me away, and stood up. "She's healed, let's get out of here." He was almost as stubborn as the Kuchiki herself. And just as annoying as Yylfordt was. Geez…

"One day, you'll admit it, Granz."

"There's nothing to admit!"

He's such a liar.

A/N: Okay, now that chapter sucked, I just know it.

Kukaku: Well, it all depends on the readers.

I see your point…

Kukaku: (nods)

Nel: Read and Review!


	4. Yamada Hanataro

A/N: Okay, the last chapter kinda sucked in my opinion, so I'll try to make it up in this chapter. And, unfortunately, Kukaku couldn't be here, thanks to GANJU! You idiot… So…I need a new co-host…I didn't think this through…Kukaku called out so suddenly…Nel, can you fill in until I can find someone?

Nel: Of course Nel can fill in! Nel would love to!

Alright, then. Would you please do the disclaimer?

Nel: Okay! The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations. Nel says no flames, because everyone gets enough of them from Head Captain.

AWWWW! SHE'S SO CUTE! …Oh…right. Well, thank you, Nel-chan! Let's go on to the chapter!

Masochistic- Chapter 4: Yamada Hanataro

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

I opened my eyes, blinking once or twice. I gasped and sat u[, looking left and right.

I soon recognized the all-too-familiar Squad Four Barracks. I often ended up here because I'm such a klutz when I'm fighting. Again, I'm unsure how I became a Shinigami, and a Third Seat, too…

I gripped the blanket, tears rolling down my cheeks. I was so stupid! I don't deserve my rank, much less the title of Shinigami. The only thing I was good at was Kido…and getting in the way…

The door opened and my lieutenant walked in. 'L-Lieutenant Abarai." I said.

"So, you're awake." He stated.

"How did I get here, sir?" I really didn't know at all. All I remembered was losing…again…

"I was on my way to check on you like Captain Kuchiki asked me to, and I found you unconscious on the street in Karakura Town. What the hell did you get into?"

I looked down and gripped the blanket harder. "…I…fought one of the Espada, sir…"

His breathing stopped, and when it started back up, he came over and hit me in my head. "What are you, some kind of idiot? You could've been killed, considering how klutzy you are! You still have trouble with regular hollows, and you decide to go up against one of the most powerful arrancars there is! Do you realize how much danger you were in? I'm surprised you're not dead!" "Alright, Renji, that's enough!" A female voice yelled from the door. We both looked to see my best and only friends in the Soul Society - The Shiba sisters, Ruka and Riva.

Ruka looked almost exactly like Lieutenant Hinamori, save for the fact that her bun didn't have the white cover, and Ruka wore a skirt instead of the standard Shinigami pants.

Her sister was a bit different from her Shiba kin. While all the other Shibas had either black or brown hair, Riva was blonde. I respected Riva for her outfit - because she wore a captain's Haori. Captain Shiba replaced the late Squad Five Captain - Aizen Sousuke, while her sister replaced the late lieutenant of Squad Thirteen - who was also their father - Shiba Kaien. I was always careful not to mention their father around them, as I hate to see them upset.

"I'm just-"

Ruka gasped, cutting my lieutenant off. "Ame, are you crying?"

"-being ignored…" The Shiba ran past Renji and stopped as close to my hospital bed as possible.

"Ame, are you alright?"

I wiped the tears from my face and looked in the opposite direction of Ruka. "I'm fine…"

"You're lying."

"Am not."

"Come on, Ame! You never tell me anything!"

"Please, Ruka, just drop it."

"Ruka, she doesn't wanna talk about it right now. Maybe if you ask later, she'll be more willing." Riva suggested. She was wrong, but at least she was able to reel in her almost-as-stubborn-as-me sister.

"Alright…" Ruka grumbled reluctantly. "But I'll be back, Ame!" And with that, the Shibas left the room, dragging Lieutenant Abarai with them.

I looked at the clock which read 5 P.M.

It's dinnertime. Which member of Squad Four is it this time, I wonder..?

**Hanataro Yamada's POV**

Oh no…Room 27...I heard someone really harsh and cold is in there…

My hands shook as I picked up the food for that room. Then I felt a hand touch my shoulder and a voice laugh. "Room 27, huh? You're in trouble! Ame Kuchiki's in there!"

He walked off, and I found my entire body shaking now, sweat running down my face, and my heart pounding as I went on my way to Room 27. T-Third…Seat…Kuchiki..? I remember her well… It's hard to forget a face like hers…so beautiful, even if her eyes were always so sad.

I would never admit it because I knew Captain Kuchiki would have my head, but…I…I have a crush on Third Seat Kuchiki…

My face got warm as I looked down while I walked. I just hoped no one saw it, then everyone would know.

I arrived at the room and knocked on the door. "It's alright, come in." She said in her gentle fearful-sounding voice. I always wondered why she always felt so sad and afraid.

I walked in the room, put her dinner on her bedside table, and bowed. "Third Seat Lady Kuchiki." I stated. I straightened up, still looking down with my eyes and blushing a little.

"Seventh Seat Yamada, please don't call me Lady Kuchiki. I don't deserve it. Please just cal me Ame or Third Seat Kuchiki."

I looked up at her. "You want me to address you by your first name?"

"Yes, please. May I call you by yours?"

I nodded. "Of course. Hanataro. But I'm sure you already knew my name…"

She laughed lightly. "I did, but it's alright. You can never be too careful. I wasn't careful enough and look where I ended up. Of course, I'm an enormous klutz, and I can be such a ditz sometimes. No one seems to understand my point of view on things, and I'm a laughing stock among the Third Seats. None of them like me, especially Third Seat Madarame. And now I'm rambling…"

I shook my head and sat down in one of the chairs. "It's alright. I'm interested."

She looked at me with a shocked expression on her face. "You…are?"

"Yes, I am. Please continue, Ame."

She smiled, which told me she preferred her first name instead of titles. "Well…I usually don't get along with those of a lower rank than me, either, save for you, but somehow lieutenants seem rather fond of me. But I…" Her eyes welled up, and I went over to her, hesitating to touch her arm and finally deciding not to.

"Ame? What's wrong?" I looked down at her hands, and her nails were dug so far into her palms, her hands were bleeding. Immediately, I got to work on them, using what I had with me.

"Hanataro, don't." I was already done, but yet she still told me to stop. "Let the useless bleed. I don't deserve to be called a Shinigami…"

I stood up and looked straight at her. "You're not useless, Ame! You have great intellect and you're powerful as well! You just need to watch yourself a little better. You're a great warrior because you learn from your mistakes. You don't have to win every fight, you just have to keep trying and do your best to get even better."

She looked up at me, most likely shocked due to how much sense I was making.

"You're a good person with a good heart, and that's what makes you strong.

Ame smiled at me. "Thank you, Hanataro."

I sat down on the foot of the bed, and she continued to tell me more about herself. I learned so much more than what anyone could've told me. She was a free spirit in a cage in the Soul Society. She was miserable. But she's a sweet, beautiful girl. This day only made me love her even more.

A/N: Awwwwww! That was so cute!

Nel: Nel thinks so too!

I'm glad.

Nel: Read and Review everybody!

gy6


	5. Illness

A/N: And now, Chapter 5! I promise, this one's going to be better!

Nel: It is!

Thank you, Nel. Will you do the disclaimer?

Nel: Nel will! The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Thank you, Nel. And now, on with the story!

Masochistic- Chapter 5: Illness

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

I looked at myself in the mirror of the Kurosaki's bathroom. No. I can't have that. I can't. Please.

I bent over the sink and began coughing hoarsely. No! Please, please, please!

"Ame, are you alright in there?" I heard Ruka ask. Otoosama asked her to keep an eye on me from now on. Keeping this from her would be difficult, but I couldn't let her know I might end up exactly like Okaasama… She'd break down…

I tried to collect myself. "Y-yeah, Ruka. I'll be out there in a minute."

"Well be late for school!"

Damn. I forgot about school. I still had to explain everything to Uuryu about me leaving, though… "Coming."

I came out of the bathroom, trying to stay calm and give off no impression something was wrong. "Come on, Ichigo already left."

We hurried out of the house and ran as fast as we could in these stupid gigais in an attempt to make it in time. Luckily, we were right on time, and the teacher was the late one, so I took this opportunity to go talk to Uuryu again. "Uuryu?"

He snapped his book shut and looked over at me. "What did I tell you, Kuchiki-" He began before I cut him off.

"It's not my fault I left."

He looked at me with a confused expression on his face. He didn't understand. "How can it not be your fault?" He went back to his book. "Just sit down and leave me alone."

"Uuryu, I-"

"Don't."

I looked down and tears streamed down my face. I then went into a coughing fit. I put my hand over my mouth and fell to my knees, and soon after, Uuryu's hand twitched on his book's cover.

"Miss Kuchiki? Are you alright?" The teacher asked.

I nodded and tried to stand up. I held on to the desk next to Uuryu's, which, incidentally, was mine. Eventually, I was able to stop coughing, and I sat down in my seat. This was going to be bad, especially if Otoosama found out.

**Later That Day…**

I was walking alongside Ruka on our way home from school, hoping things would get better at home. I coughed once or twice, and Ruka asked if I was okay each time. Of course, I wouldn't worry her, so I told her I was fine.

We walked in the door, and I went upstairs, throwing my bag on the floor and laying down in the closet that Ruka and I shared. I felt horrible. I was dizzy, and I had a hard time breathing, too. I didn't think this could get any worse…

Lying there, I wondered what I was supposed to do. Who could I tell, and who couldn't know? This was not going to end well… And Ruka was supposed to go on a mission later, so I would be free to roam around Karakura Town…

…

And after she left, I did just that. The doors weren't locked, so I just walked right out. The streets were long, and I followed them to places I didn't even know of. My ears picked up a few people talking, and one of them sounded familiar…

Granz. I hid behind a tree, and watched them discuss things. There were three people; Szayel Aporro Granz, Ichimaru Gin, and Toosen Kaname.

"What do we do about Grimmjow? He hasn't been around lately, and Lord Aizen is getting suspicious. I myself would like to know what's going on. Any ideas, Granz?" Gin asked. That smile of his is so creepy, and I could've sworn he was gay…

"If Grimmjow is a traitor, we need to know." Toosen stated.

Granz's lips curled back over his teeth in a mischievous smile. "I'm sure Grimmjow's in no trouble. I would know. He's not committing treason of any kind." Granz assured them.

"And what about that Kuchiki girl? Ame or something? She knows a lot about us, doesn't she? A little too much. What should we do with her?" Gin questioned. My heart pounded. Gin suspects me of something…I'm so dead…

"I think we should leave her alone for the time being. She may not know all that much about us. Let's leave her alone for now."

"You're sure? Lord Aizen would want to know." Toosen warned Granz.

"Positive. I fought her. She is, in no way, any threat to us."

"If you think so, I suppose…"

I pressed my back against the tree and gasped. They were suspicious of Grimmjow_ already_? This was too soon! Why was Granz lying to them, though? What reason would he have to protect Grimmjow?

"But you did get hit pretty bad, considering there was a bloodstained hole in your outfit. Are you sure she's no danger?" Gin asked, suspicious of Granz for some reason now.

I looked around and saw what no one else saw- a few drops of sweat fell from his face. What. The. Hell? "Positive." He snapped.

Why was he getting defensive? It made no sense to me… I began to cough, and I heard Granz make an inquiring sound. I think he heard me.

Out of fear, I ran back home, hoping I wasn't being followed.

My breathing became labored, and I was slowing down. I could hear my heart beating loudly, and sweat dripped from my face drop after drop. My legs gave in, and I collapsed onto the ground. This was it - I was done for. If Granz, Gin, or Toosen find me, I was as good as dead.

As if fate was against me, (and I'm pretty sure it was) I heard footsteps come towards me. I cringed and gripped blades of grass in my hands. I should've stayed home…

Instead of dying, I felt a hand on my back. "Are you alright there?" A voice asked me. "You're Byakuya Kuchiki's daughter, aren't you?"

"Who…are you..?" I asked before coughing a few times.

"I'll explain later. Right now, we've got to get you somewhere safe."

I let the person pick me up and carry me. When I looked up at him, I couldn't see much of his face due to a green-and-white-striped hat on his head and his shaggy blond hair. "How did you-?"

"I used to be a Shinigami, much like yourself. Only I was a higher rank than you."

I was confused, but I didn't ask. Soon, we arrived at a store. The very shop that Aunt Rukia goes to for Shinigami supplies.

"Your name is Ame, right? Rukia told me you'd be staying in the world of the living." He put me down on a mat in one of the back rooms and sat down next to me. "I am Kisuke Urahara. I run this shop here. I see you've gotten yourself into a bit of trouble!"

"Nothing new…"

"You're fatally ill, aren't you?"

I looked away. "How would…you know?" I coughed a bit.

"Your mother died of the same illness, didn't she?"

I suddenly became alert, and sat up, looking straight at him. "What do you know…about Okaasama?"

He pulled his hat down a bit. "Not too much, I'm afraid, but I do know that you probably have what she has. I'm smarter than I look. Now, I assume you don't want me telling anyone, right?"

"If you wouldn't. I don't want anyone worrying-" Then I gasped and clutched my chest. I tried to speak, but I couldn't. I tried to breathe, but I failed to do so. Obviously, my case is an amplified version of what Okaasama had.

"Calm down, now, Ame."

"Mr. Kisuke, sir? I got who you asked for." A small girl said.

"Good girl, Ururu. Bring him in."

Who did he mean?

**Uuryu Ishida's POV**

I walked in the room and held my breath. "Why did you bring me here?" I demanded.

Urahara looked over at Ame, and she nodded. "Well, basically, Ame has what her mother had. She's fatally ill, and the only ones that can keep her going are the people closest to her. One of them being you, Uuryu." He explained.

"I have nothing to do with her. Why would my presence matter?"

"Uuryu, you're simply angry with her. You're failing to see the facts. Ame didn't go back to the Soul Society by choice. Her father, Byakuya Kuchiki took her back. She couldn't have warned you if she tried."

"How would you know? There's no way you could've known our past at all!"

"I had a little eavesdropper on my side." He smiled his foolish smile and pointed his thumb at Yoruichi, who was in her cat form.

I held my breath again. She hadn't betrayed me in the first place? This was all Captain Kuchiki's fault? I got on my knees next to her and looked at her, concerned. She was coughing and she seemed to be unable to breathe. I caused this didn't I? I set her off earlier in the classroom. "Ame, calm down. Breathe, Ame. I'm sorry." I rubbed her back in an attempt to help her better. "Come on, calm down."

"Uu…ry…u…" She choked out.

"I'm right here. Calm down."

She coughed a few times more before she was finally able to breathe again, and began to hyperventilate. The Shinigami clung to my sleeve, and I moved her so I could hold her. How long had this been going on? Was it really my fault for getting mad at her? She wasn't nearly as bad in the classroom… "Uuryu…"

No, she would know. And if it was, she would be hitting me. "Calm down, Ame. Everything's alright now I'm sorry. What set her off, Urahara?"

He looked down. "Not sure. But you might wanna keep an eye on her." Then he looked me in the eyes. "If you don't, she could die."

I held my breath and looked down at the now sleeping Shinigami in my arms. She could die? No. I wouldn't allow that. I couldn't bring myself to let any thought of that kind into my head. She had to stay alive. Urahara stood up and walked over to the door. "Where are you going?"

"Just outside."

**Kisuke Urahara's POV**

I closed the door and looked up at the moon, hearing Yoruichi's paws on the ground approaching. "And so, the war begins." I joked.

"First, they have to figure out that the war exists." She replied.

"Oh, trust me. As soon as they all meet each other in the same place, it will be realized."

"What makes you so sure of all who are involved?"

I chuckled. "People can be so predictable, Yoruichi."

She laughed loudly. "So true."

A/N: Aw…that was cute!

Nel: Nel thinks it MAY have been a bit rushed…

Maybe so… Ah well, nobody's perfect.

Nel: Read and Review!


	6. Realization

A/N: Ah, and here's chapter six. I'm warning you, this is where all the mush REALLY comes in.

Hichigo: Aw, geez…

WHEN DID YOU COME BACK?

Hichigo: I let myself in.

…SECURITY!

Hichigo: The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Grr…

Masochistic - Chapter 6: Realization

**Szayel Aporro Granz's POV**

I sat in my lab, trying so hard to put my brain to its best use right now. I needed to figure out two things:

One, why did I care whether or not the Kuchiki girl lived?

And two, why the hell is Gin hounding me about it? It's getting on my nerves… Grimmjow I can understand - he's annoying as hell. But Gin doesn't usually get involved unless he's really interested or he thinks there's a traitor involved.

Come on, Granz, think! It all has to be connected somehow!

I saved the Kuchiki girl, and the only one who thinks he knows is Grimmjow. But at the same time, Gin is suspicious of me. But that would only mean that Gin is suspicious because I saved her, but there's no way in hell he'd know that. So why the hell is he bugging me?

That's when it struck me, and it caused me to laugh loudly. Oh, I see! But he can't honestly think that _I_-

"Granz?" Ulquiorra asked as he came in.

Oh, geez, I need to be more careful when I'm thinking…"What is it?" I demanded.

"Grimmjow was saying you were researching the Kuchiki girl. Third Seat of Squad Six. Is that correct?"

Dammit, Grimmjow! He's such a loudmouth… "Yes, and what of it? It doesn't mean anything. It's just to know more so we don't make any mistakes."

"He heard something from Riva that you may want to know."

Something Grimmjow knew that I didn't? This should be interesting. "Go on."

"It seems that Ame is ill."

My heart thudded. Ill? Reflexively, my ands griped the arms of my chair. Why is my body doing things like this? "Ill, you say? How ill, exactly?"

I swear I saw him smirk at my body's reactions. "Fatally. She nearly died yesterday."

My body began to shake a little, and I felt sick. Along with this, my heart was going speeds I never thought possible. "Ulquiorra, leave for a moment. I need to think."

"Alright.."

As soon as Cifer was gone, I fell onto my knees out of my chair, clutched my chest, and tried to stop shaking - unable to hold it in any longer. What_ was_ this? What about what Ulquiorra said was making me like this?

It couldn't be…I'm not, there's no way.

But the more I denied it, the worse I felt. And eventually, I ended up getting sick.

**Ulquiorra Cifer's POV**

"Granz, are you throwing up in there?" I inquired in my normal emotionless voice.

He's afraid to admit it. And as smart as he claims to be, he should understand by now. And the fact that he failed to answer me only further proved my point.

I opened the door and walked in, closing said metal frame behind me. I took in the scene and for once began to feel pity for the Octava Espada. "Granz, the more you deny it, the harder it's going to be on you. Just say it."

He shook his head, pursuing is upcoming title he will be stealing from Grimmjow or Nnoitra: "Stubborn Idiot."

"Szayel, if Grimmjow and I of all people can admit it, so can you. So stop being stubborn and just admit to it."

He shook his head once more. "N-no…There's no way…I could be…No…"

"Granz." For once in my life I was beginning to lose my calm resolve. But I refused to lose my tone. Jeagerjaques was nothing compared to how stubborn Granz was. "There is nothing wrong with it. It has happened to most of us, so cease acting like it's so bad."

He covered his mouth to prevent himself from getting sick again, and I could tell he was quickly becoming exhausted.

"It will stop once you say it, Szayel. So stop being excessively adamant and be honest with yourself." And as if on cue, the monitors flashed to the Kuchiki girl, and I was sure he wouldn't like what was going on. "Granz, you may want to look at your monitors."

**Szayel Aporro Granz's POV**

What was he going on about now? Using the chair, I managed to get up and clenched my stomach as I stared in fear at the screen. "A-A…me? Dammit. I told Toosen she wasn't anything to be worried about… Even though it was a lie, but…" I mumbled to myself. I sat down in my chair and used the hand I wasn't gripping my stomach with to look through the new files that popped up. "Where's her health status..?" After managing to find said file, my heart slammed against the inside of my chest so quickly, it put me in pain. "She's-"

**Uuryu Ishida's POV**

"-in a what?" I demanded, standing next to the hospital bed in the Squad Four barracks that me was lying on. "She was just fine this morning!"

"These things happen suddenly, Uuryu. Do you have any idea what may have set her off?" Captain Unohana asked.

I pushed my glasses up and tried to think.

"_What would you do if I died, Uuryu?"_

She said that, didn't she?

"_I'm sure the Espada want my head…"_

"The Espada are after her for some reason…" An they're all going to get it.

"Of course! She's been watching them for a while, so they may have noticed her and the fear or them catching her set her off." Riva explained.

"AME!" Ruka sobbed, almost tackling said Kuchiki's hospital bed.

"Ruka, be careful!" I snapped at the Shiba. She could seriously hurt Ame like that…

Ruka stepped back with a scared, upset look on her face. "G-gomen…"

"There's no need to be so aggressive, Uuryu. Is there something we need to know?" Riva questioned.

My heart thudded and I clenched my fists. "No."

Riva's sister turned her attention to me and was soon in my face. "You're lying."

"No, I'm not." I definitely couldn't let them know. All Shinigami would be against it. And if Captain Kuchiki were to hear it…Well, then I'd be dead.

"Will you tell us if Captain Unohana leaves?" She looked like she was about ready to beg on her knees.

Pushing my glasses up, I sighed heavily in defeat. "Fine…"

"Please Captain?" The elder sister looked hopefully at the good-natured captain.

"Alright, but I'll be back later. Take care. And tell your captain to do the same."

"Yes, ma'am."

And as soon as she was gone, the Shiba sisters were cornering me.

**Szayel Aporro Granz's POV**

Ulquiorra stood next to me, looking at the monitor before turning back to me. "Say why it bothers you. We both know the truth." He stated.

I sighed heavily, knowing he was right. "I can't continue to lie to myself…" I told him

**Uuryu Ishida's POV**

"I didn't realize it myself until the other night when Ururu brought me to Urahara's shop, but…" I began.

**Szayel Aporro Granz's POV**

"…But it's true…" I answered

**Ulquiorra Cifer/ Ruka Shiba/ Riva Shiba's POV**

"…I love Ame Kuchiki." He confessed.

A/N: THAT WAS ADORABLE!

Hichigo: Excuse me while I throw up. *gags*

Moron.

Hichigo: Romanticist.

Nel: Read and Review!


	7. Things I Shouldn't Say

A/N: Unable to get rid of Hichigo, I have given up and am just letting him co-host. But here is chapter 7.

Hichigo: In your face bitch.

Shut up and do the disclaimer, since you wanna be here so freakin' bad.

Hichigo: Maybe I will!

Fine!

Hichigo: Fine! The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Thank you, Mr. Know-It-All!

Nel: Nel says we should start the fanfic now…

Masochistic - Chapter 7: Things I Shouldn't Say

**Uuryu Ishida's POV**

Ruka's eyes were wide and Riva's jaw dropped. "I knew it!" Ruka squealed.

I looked at the ground, and my heart sank. "But…" I trailed off.

"Huh?" The lieutenant's expression went from excited to concerned, "What is it, Uuryu?"

"No matter how badly I want to…I can't be with her."

The Shinigami looked at me sternly. "And why not? I think it's cute."

"Because more than likely, Byakuya would kill him. No matter how much they may love each other, no matter how well Uuryu treats her, and no matter how much the rest of the Soul Society trusts him, Uuryu is still a Quincy. And Byakuya lives by old rules." Riva explained.

"Exactly." I sighed, walking over to Ame. "But I…I still want to. Ruka, you're an expert on relationships. What do I do?"

"Absolutely nothing!" A voice growled from the doorway.

Captain Kuchiki. I'm dead. How long had he been there?

"Captain Shiba's right. I will not allow this. When Ame wakes up from this coma, I'm keeping her here in the Soul Society. It was a mistake to think I could trust Kurosaki and his son to keep her safe. I just don't understand how she became attached to you so quickly-"

"What did she talk about when you took her back from the human world all those years ago?"

He stiffened and glared at me with narrowed eyes. "She _is_ rather fond of telling that story…"

"What did she talk about?"

"…A boy about her age with glasses, black hair and…" His eyes widened when he saw mine. "…Blue eyes. You…That boy…was _you_?"

"I make her happy, isn't that enough for you?"

"It doesn't matter. You're a Quincy. She's a Shinigami. I will _never_ allow it. You _will _stay away from her. If you don't, I will not hesitate to kill you. Now get out."

I stood my ground. "I can't do that. Even if you won't allow me to love her, as her friend, I'm staying by her side as much as possible."

"You insolent-" He didn't even bother to finish before coming over to me, still keeping his calm resolve, and hitting me across the face.

"Captain Kuchiki!" Ruka exclaimed.

"If you're not gone when I return-"

"Captain Kuchiki!" Renji called from the doorway.

Captain Kuchiki turned his head to look at the red-haired lieutenant. "What is it, Renji?"

"There's an Espada out here, sir! He's coming for Ame!"

Both Captain Kuchiki and I looked down the hall before racing down it, Renji following us. That arrancar isn't getting anywhere near her.

**Szayel Aporro Granz's POV**

Fools. So easily tricked.

I walked casually into the room and stood next to Ame's hospital bed. "What are you doing here?" A voice demanded. I looked in it's direction, and that Shiba that Ulquiorra was rather fond of stood there. I could've sworn I felt Riva's spiritual pressure, but she's not here anymore.

"You should know." I stated, drawing my zanpakuto just enough to reveal the blade.

She became serious and drew her own. "Don't lay a hand on her!"

"Oh, believe me, he won't." An annoyingly familiar voice said.

"Gin, you're turning into a stalker of sorts." I growled, irritated at how closely he watches my every move.

He walked in the room where all three of our positions made a triangle around Ame. "Don't mind me, do what you came here for. Unless… something made you change your mind?"

"…" I looked down at Ame's face. She had a breathing mask on, but I could still see her entire face. Toosen must have scared her pretty bad for her to have gotten like this. I should've told him it was a bad idea to go to the human world…

Gin's eyes opened a little. Oh hell. This is bad. He knows. "Oh? Is that hesitation I see? Ruka?"

The two of them looked at each other, and Ruka froze, seeing Gin's eyes slightly opened. "What do you want, Gin?" She snapped.

"Do you see the hesitation I do?"

The lieutenant turned her attention to me, and I'm sure she saw my hand that was gripping the hilt if my zanpakuto shaking, as her eyes widened. "I…_do_."

"Now, why would he hesitate, and what is he hesitating to do?"

"I'm not hesitating, you're annoying." I retorted.

He chuckled and walked over to me, putting his hands on my shoulders from behind. "Just admit it, Granz. We both know the truth, and Ruka has a right to know. Ame _is_ her best friend after all. So come on, say it."

I could feel the beat of my heart slamming against the inside of my chest so hard it actually started to hurt. "There's nothing to admit to."

"I beg to differ. There's something about that girl, isn't there?"

"What..?" Ruka asked, her expression becoming interested and concerned.

Gin dropped his voice to a whisper, closing his eyes. What is it about her, I wonder…that makes your heart beat so quickly? What about her captivates you, Granz?"

"I don't know what the hell you're talking about!" I yelled, turning to look at the silver-haired annoyance. "Let's just get out of here." He is really trying to make me lose my mind, isn't he?

But he's right. I have to admit it. At least to myself. This final attempt to deny my feelings for her proved nothing I didn't already know.

I can't resist this anymore. I have to come see her again later.

Before I left, I mouthed something out in her direction: I love you, I'm sorry.

…

I waited until nightfall to go back to the soul society. I had to see her in person one more time. "Just one more time." I repeated out loud to myself as a reminder not to do this again.

I made my way to the Squad Four barracks, But I had to wait for one of the members to leave where Ame was before I could do anything. I took a while, but as soon as I was sure he was gone, I came in through the window. I stumbled around in the dark, trying to find a light or something. During which, the lights flipped on. "You again." The familiar voice of Ruka Shiba said.

_Goddammit! _I can't go one day without getting into anything, can I? I ran into her this morning, and now I have to deal with her again! Turning to face her, I put my hands halfway up. "Easy, there. I haven't gotten violent, have I, Ruka?"

She wasn't in a fighting stance or anything, but she stiffened. "How do you-?"

I put my hands down and walked over to Ame, placing my left hand on her forehead. "When is she expected to wake up?" I made no eye contact with Ruka, nor did I even look in her direction. My only focus was on the Shinigami in front of me.

She sighed. "We'll be lucky if she wakes up within the next two months."

I got that uneasy feeling in my stomach again. "'The next…two months'?" I covered my mouth with my right hand and moved my left hand from Ame's forehead to my stomach, trying to keep from throwing up.

"Are you…about to get sick?"

I shook my head. "N-no…"

She gasped, her eyes widening. I wasn't sure if she knew, or if she was surprised I was about to get sick. "You _are_."

"I am not! I'm perfectly fine…"

Ruka stood in front of me as I fell to my knees. "That's not what I meant. You are, aren't you?"

I don't believe this. She's figured it out, too? Is it that obvious…? "What are you talking about?"

"You're in love with her, aren't you? I'm her best friend. 'I have a right to know', as Gin said before."

Why can't my stupid reflexes let me keep this to myself? I shook my head at what she asked.

"Are you…like Grimmjow with sissy?"

"I don't care about her!" Lying only made me feel worse. I could barely take it, but Shiba couldn't know.

"If you didn't, she would be dead. You Espada are ruthless. You would've killed her by now."

"Some of us like to toy with our enemies." I was starting to run out of excuses. Damn it…

"She's the reason Gin makes you mad. She's the reason…that you've ever had the urge to tell someone you love them. I saw you. You mouthed out something like 'I love you' and 'I'm sorry.' You were apologizing for hurting her."

"And also for falling in love with her." A female voice other than Ruka's said. Riva walked in with Grimmjow, and they both looked rather pleased with themselves. "You know that fact can hurt her, too, and so, you apologized. It's the reason you won't tell us. Because if anyone other than us and Ulquiorra knew, things would get bloody for you and Ame. Aizen would use it against us all, and everyone in the Soul Society would think Ame liked you, too. Which, in all honesty, is a possibility,"

"Admit it, Granz. We can help you keep it away from Aizen. If I ratted you out, it would be like smacking Riva across the face." Grimmjow explained.

"And I wouldn't want Ame to get hurt." The sisters said in unison.

I looked over the three of them, then back to Ame. Can I…can I really trust them? They're making sense, and it's only a matter of time before Ulquiorra tells them. I suppose…I can trust them. "I…guess you're right."

"So…you're admitting to it?" Ruka asked.

I nodded. "I have to. I would probably end up giving it away, so it would cancel out the effort."

Then there was a gasp from the doorway. I looked to see the young Shinigami that tended to Ame. "A-Arrancars?" He whimpered. Great. I have to get out of here…

I motioned for Grimmjow for him to follow, and we both left in a rush. But from here on, what am I supposed to do?

A/N: That was confusing, and rather cute at the same time! Oh, what to do, what to do…?

Hichigo: What the hell are you going on about now, bitch?

Cant you be nice to me for five minutes?

No.

Fine, that's what I have Nel and Shinji-kun for.

Shinji: Huh?

*hugs Shinji*

Shinji: Okay, I'm liking this so far.

Nel: Read and Review!


	8. The Wrath Of Byakuya Kuchiki

A/N: Ugh, I wish my Fullmetal Alchemist inspiration would come to me! I have Bleach up to chapter 13 done! Stupid inspiration gods…

Hichigo: Or maybe it's just your stupidity.

Shinji, Hichigo's being mean to me! (hugs Shinji)

Shinji: Hichigo…

Hichigo: (gulps) The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Nel: Let's go! Follow Nel to the chapter!

Masochistic - Chapter 8: The Wrath Of Byakuya Kuchiki

**Uuryu Ishida's POV**

Against the will of Byakuya Kuchiki, I was sitting in a chair next to Ame's hospital bed the next morning. I couldn't keep myself away for long, but I couldn't let anyone but Ruka and Riva know I loved Ame.

And I won't tolerate any shit from anyone about it…

My hands balled into fists in anger at myself. How could I let this happen to her? I should've watched over her! This is all my fault for setting her off when she first came to the world of the living.

"Aw, geez, the Quincy's still in here. What's up with you, Uuryu?" The annoying voice of Ikkaku asked. "You got a thing for weak girls?"

I glared at him and the other three Squad Eleven members that were with him; Kenpachi, Yachiru, and Yumichika. "She's not even that pretty." Said Fifth Seat sighed.

"Shut up, Ikkaku. You wouldn't know strength if it hit you in the face. And Yumichika, a rat it prettier than you, so don't talk." I growled.

"So Mr. Four-eyes _does_ like Me-Me, Kenny?" Yachiru asked in a giggling voice.

"Looks like it. Don't worry kid, we're not exactly the gossiping type. But don't get your hopes up. Her father would fight you to the death over that!" Kenpachi laughed.

"You insulted my strength…" Ikkaku snarled. "And Yumichika's in a fetal position! What do you have to say?"

I looked over at Yumichika who was curled up in the far corner. "It's what you deserve if you're only here to put her down." I stated.

"It's all _she_ deserves. The stuck up bitch never talks to anyone. She never smiles, and when you try to cheer her up, she tells you to leave her alone. Back at the academy, the only time she was happy was when she got good scores. She would never settle for less than the best. And when she got low scores, she'd stab through her hand or find a way to make herself suffer. She never disappointed her father, but at the cost of most of her friends. She's lucky Yumichika and I still stuck with her for a long time. And among Third Seats, she's the best of the best. But she never feels that way."

"If you think so greatly of her, why do you constantly put her down?"

"Because while she has a strong heart of gold, she acts and fights so recklessly. She's signing a death wish in both directions."

"'Heart of gold…' That's the truth." I looked at Ame as I spoke.

"Huh? How would you know?

"She got stuck in the world of the living o the day my sensei died. She helped me through the grief and became my only friend. But…now that I think about it…"

"_Ame!"_

"_Whoa, Uuryu! Easy!"_

"…I treated her more like…"

"_Be careful, Ame! I don't want you getting hurt!"_

"_I'll be alright, Ryu-kun! Don't worry!"_

"_You make it hard…"_

"…I was…"

"_Promise you won't leave me…"_

"_I can try."_

"…her lover."

Through my flashbacks, I hadn't noticed that Kenpachi and Yachiru had left, but Ikkaku just stood there looking from Ame to me. "'Her lover,' huh? I have to say, that's something. In the beginning in the academy, Ame, Yumichika, and I were close friends. I guess I'm more of a nitpicking brother, y'know?" I raised an eyebrow at him and he twitched in irritation. "DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK, I'M LIKE A BROTHER!"

I smirked and pushed up my glasses. "I know."

"And just so you know, you're probably the best option for her. She loves you to bits, even though you don't know it. She wouldn't ever shut up about you. But it was good to see her smile, and you brought it out. I guess I should be grateful for that…"

I just ran my fingers through Ame's hair, tears streaming down my face. "You shouldn't. It's my fault she's in here. I upset her, and that caused her illness to start up. Then somebody set her off again and here she is… this is all my fault…"

Loud beeping noises started to go off, snapping me out of my depression, and it turned out to be Ame's monitors. Almost immediately, several Squad Four Members pushed into the room yelling things like: "I'm sorry, but you have to leave!", "I'm sorry, excuse me!", "Out of the way!", and "Somebody get some medication!"

"I can't leave her!" I tried to push past Isane to get back to Ame, but she wouldn't let me in.

"I'm sorry, but you can't be in here!" She said.

"I have to! Let me in, I need to be there!"

"Isane, let him through." The voice of Captain Unohana ordered. "Come along, Uuryu."

When we were inside the room, the yelling continued in a deafening clamor. "Captain, we can't get her stabilized!" "What do we do?" "Captain!" I just sat there, holding Ame's slightly chilled hand. She wasn't getting any better.

"Ame, please…" I began, even though I doubted she could hear me over the squad that swarmed the room. I placed one hand on her cheek before I spoke again. "If you can hear me at all, it's Uuryu. I need you to stay calm in there. Stay alive for me. And if not for me, for Ruka and Riva, Renji and Yuzu, or whoever it is you care about most. Just don't leave us. Please…"

"What are you doing in here?" The thundering voice of Byakuya Kuchiki demanded.

I looked up at him, tears rolling down my cheeks. "Trying to help her."

He smacked me across my face and my glasses fell to the floor. "I told you to stay away from my daughter, boy."

"She needs me." He hit me again, but I didn't care. "I couldn't leave even if I wanted to. I can't see anymore."

"Hmph. Then I will help you." I didn't like the sound of that. "Scatter, Senbonzakura."

What do I do? I can't see, and Ame wouldn't want us fighting each other, anyway. He's going to kill me right next to Ame. Though, I guess I couldn't have though of a better place to die…

The pain that came was nothing compared to the pain in my heart. I was never going to see Ame again. I cried out in pain, and felt my own blood spatter on my face.

Ame…

"..!" I heard the captain gasp. I managed to find my glasses, and my eyes widened at what I saw.

"O…too…sama…" She said, her voice cracking. She had his arm in her hand. "Please…don't…hurt him…I beg you…"

"Ame, lie back down. Do not get in the middle of this."

"Please…Otoosama…"

"Ame Kuchiki! Listen to me. I promised your mother I'd give you a good life, and this boy will be nothing but trouble."

"And a good life is locking her away? She's not happy at all, she's like a caged bird! You can't control her!" I snapped. This wasn't fair. He can't treat her like this.

"I'm protecting her."

"From what?"

His hand collided with my face once more, and Ame gasped before going into a violent coughing fit.

"Ame!" I panicked. What could I do? Captain Kuchiki won't let me near her!

Then that life-saver Ruka came in and began to usher everyone out. "Come on, you can't be in here! Everyone out! All of you!" She shouted. "Come on, Uuryu!"

Damn. I was hoping she'd let me stay. "But-"

"No time! Go!"

Reluctantly, I followed her sister out and hoped that Ame would be alright.

A/N: Aw… Poor Uuryu…

Hichigo: Let him mope! It's his fault for falling in love with her, anyways…

But he can't control that!

Hichigo: Says you.

Yeah, says me!

Hichigo: Whatever, bitch.

SHINJIIIIII!

Shinji: Hichigo…

Nel: Read and Review!


	9. My True Face

A/N: Gah…..so….many…more….chapters….

Hichigo: Well, if you would type before you start writing again, you wouldn't have to deal with this.

SHUT UP!

Shinji: (hits Hichigo in the head)

Hichigo: I'm doing the disclaimer now! The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations.

Shinji: Good. Now, all of ya, to the chapter.

Masochistic - Chapter 9: My True Face

**Szayel Aporro Granz's POV**

"All clear, Granz." I heard Ruka confirm.

I poked my head in the window and looked down. "Maybe we should leave this to Ishida. She detests me, I'm sure. Let's face it, I'm… not exactly good for her…"

I think you could be if you tried. Come on, you never know."

I had to admit, she was making sense. What did I have to lose? My love and my sanity. Maybe this wasn't worth it.

"Hurry! She's not doing well at all."

And maybe it was. Here goes. Climbing in through the window, I looked over at her in horror. Blood flew up her throat and onto her hands, and she was almost as pale as Ulquiorra. Her violet eyes glazed over, and overall, she was in horrible shape. Seeing her like this, I couldn't hold back. "Ame!" I was over to her in two long strides and sat down next to her, holding her arms in my hands. I had to do what I could.

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

Through this pain and agony and the sound of my own coughing, I managed to feel a pair of hands gently hold my arms. I knew they weren't Uuryu's, they felt too thin and slender. But I didn't know anyone like tha-

Wait. These same fingers held my face not too long ago. What the hell was _he_ doing here?

"Ame, calm down. Ishida's alright, I know that's why you're coughing like this. But you have to calm down." He said.

I managed to arrest my coughing and out of exhaustion, leaned on the Octava Espada. It was involuntary, but what else could I do? "Wh-where'd Ruka…go?" I asked.

He seemed surprised himself. "I'm not sure myself. That's strange…"

"What are you…doing here? And…why haven't you killed me yet…?"

"Well…" He looked away before continuing. "…I don't want to…"

I looked up at him, confused, and turned his face to look at me. Weak as I was, I could still make him look me in the eyes. But I soon regretted it.

Looking straight at him, eye-to-eye, I was speechless. His amber eyes were absolutely gorgeous, and I had to resist the urge to touch his pink hair that didn't quite touch his shoulders. All in all, he was perfect. I couldn't find a single flaw on him that I could see. My eyes traced every inch of his face and stopped on his lips. My heart thudded involuntarily at the sight in front of me. He was as cute as Uuryu.

Uuryu. That's right. Away from the arrancar, no doubt he's trouble.

But then again…That's stereotyping. Like Otoosama and Quincy. But this man stabbed me through, and now he's trying to keep me alive? I didn't understand. "What's…wrong with you?" I asked.

He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not quite sure I understand." He replied.

"You…almost killed me…and now you're trying to save my life…what the hell's wrong with you…?"

He looked me in the eyes, possessing me once again with the amber jewels on his face. "I saved your life even then. If I hadn't healed you, you would be dead."

I was astonished. "Why..?"

"I…well, I…It would be a shame to see such a valuable resource die."

I scoffed and looked away from the perfect man that held me. "'Valuable', huh…? Yeah right….I'm nothing….I let everyone down…and I'm not….very strong…I'm a klutz…and I get in the way…"

"That's not true." He pulled my gaze back to him and looked at me with the emotions I could only describe as worried and _passionate _of all things. I was so confused. "Until I met you, I had never found another being like me; perfect in every way. You possibly more so than I. The difference being that you have the capability of caring about others. Whereas, myself-"

"But you…cared enough to save my life…" I cut him off before he could lie anymore. "Twice, at that…So that means you're…still better…I'm nowhere near perfect…The only part of my name I deserve…is my first…The noble title of Kuchiki…Is way too great for someone like me…"

"Stop that!" My heart jumped form his sudden explosion. "Don't put yourself down like that! It's ki- er, obnoxious."

"What was that…?"

He let go of my arms and stood up, walking over to the window. "I'll be going now."

As he climbed through the window, I ran, to the best of my ability, to the opening. "Szayel..! W-wait..!" I fell over and caught myself on the window sill. What was he thinking about saying? Why did he save me? What the hell was going on here?

A/N: Goddammit, it was still short as hell.

Hichigo: You just suck, is all.

You keep bad-mouthing me, we'll see what happens to that mouth of yours.

Hichigo: Ooh, you gonna kiss it, bitch?

No, I'm gonna shove Ichigo's tongue in it and watch the two of you make out like I want to.

Hichigo: …You disgust me.

Ichigo: (hugs Hichigo) Come on, Shiro-kun! Come play with me!

Hichigo: What have you done to him?

Shinji: Read and Review.


	10. Jealousy And Fear

A/N: Okay, now that Chapter 9 (probably, and hopefully the shortest chapter in the story) is over with, let us see how Uuryu handles things in chapter 10!

Hichigo: (trying to get out of Ichigo's bedroom) Let me out! Hey, Ichigo, what the- Don't touch that!

(Listens happily) Ah, Yaoi. Get him, Ichigo!

Shinji: The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations. The authoress would like to warn ya that about chapters 13-14, the rating is going to go up to M.

Thank you, Shinji. Let us continue, now.

Masochistic - Chapter 10: Jealousy and Fear

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

For the rest of the week, I stumbled around the Squad Six barracks, refusing to stay at Squad Four, continuously falling to my knees and/or coughing up blood.

"Ame, are you sure you can handle your duties?" Lieutenant Abarai asked.

"Yes, sir. I'm alright." I replied before coughing up another river of blood.

"Ame, no, you're not. And if Captain Kuchiki finds out…"

"He won't care. Now please, don't worry about me, sir."

"Ame…" I simply walked away from him and went on my way to do a mission I had been assigned to. I could do it. I couldn't be so bad as to not be able to do a simple mission. Although, suspicious spiritual pressures can never be good…

I sighed as I passed through the Senkaimon. I'm gonna be doomed to the Fourth Squad barracks, again… I casually stepped into the World Of The Living and was immediately attacked. "Hey!" I's managed to dodge it, but he kept coming. "Time out!"

I was surprised when he actually stopped and just floated in front of me. "I'm sorry, what did you need to say?" He asked in a teasing voice.

I looked at him and recognized him almost immediately. "Luppi?"

"Ah, yes, I remember you. I'm not sure how every time I get sent here, you do, too. Bu I was hoping it would be you. After all, Lord Aizen told me specifically to get rid of you. You're distracting Granz."

My heart thudded. I'm…what? "What?"

"He really has taken a liking to you, hasn't he?"

"Shut up!"

"Time in." And he began to attack me again.

"Cover me with the veil of the night," I drew Yoru out of his sheath as I spoke. "Yoru!" Antenor's eyes widened when he could no longer see. "This'll set you straight." I cut an X across his chest and he grunted in pain.

"Now that's dirty!"

"Then it suits you." Unfortunately, I was, again, getting overconfident, and felt a blade through my back, right through my chest. _Luppi_! Of all people to lose to! He drew his sword back and I fell to the ground, coughing up blood once more. "Damn…" I could barely speak, my illness kicking in further, making hit difficult to breathe. I hated to admit it, but I needed help.

As if on cue, a blue arrow pierced through Luppi's shoulder and he gasped. "Back off." A soothingly familiar voice ordered sternly.

Antenor looked over at Uuryu who held a ready arrow up, pointed at the Sexta Espada as he walked towards me. "Ame, are you alright?" He asked, obviously not looking at me. When I didn't respond, he looked down at me, still holding his weapon pointed at Luppi, and gasped. "Ame!"

"I'll handle Luppi from here, Ishida." Another nice, familiar voice said. Szayel.

Uuryu made a shocked sound in his throat, but let his bow disappear and got on his knees, anyway. "Ame, calm down." He placed me on his lap, holding me and slowly moving his hand up and down my back.

Unfortunately, my concern for Szayel, him being Octava and Luppi being Sexta, kept me from completely calming down. I couldn't do anything for him, and I caused Uuryu to go out of his way…I'm just causing them both problems…My cough got harder, and breathing became impossible. What was I supposed to do now?

"Ishida!" Szayel yelled. Get her out of here!"

Uuryu, for my sake, I suppose, listened and stood up, keeping me in his arms as he ran off. I had to tell him I was sorry for this later…If I lived. He managed to get me to Urahara's shop and walked right in. "Urahara!" He called.

Luckily, he was actually there when we needed him, and with Orihime as well. "Oh no! Is she okay?" The red-head asked.

"I don't think so. Can you heal her, Orihime?"

She nodded as Uuryu put me down in one of the back room. "Okay."

As soon as I was lying down, and my breathing had regulated, Uuryu took Urahara outside.

**Uuryu Ishida's POV**

"Urahara." I said, looking down.

"What is it, Uuryu?" He inquired, sitting down.

"…How much do you know about how arrancars think?" I copied him movements and sat down myself, resting one arm on my leg and pushing my glasses up with the hand on the other.

"It's hard to say, really. They all think differently. They're not programmed robots. Believe it or not, they have minds of their own. It depends on the arrancar. So, in all honesty, I can't help you with that."

"Szayel Aporro Granz."

"The gay one with the god complex?"

"…I'm pretty sure he's not gay. He…he fought the sixth Espada to help me save Ame. I don't get it."

"The war has begun." I looked over at him with a raised eyebrow. "You're both in love with her, aren't you?"

An Espada…In love with Ame? You've got to be kidding me! I…I can't let this happen. She was…I was hers first. If anyone's allowed to be with her, it's me. No matter what anyone says.

It was then that I heard something thud and a few things clatter and went back inside to find that Ame wasn't there. This only scared me even more. I would definitely lose her.

A/N: Dammit. At least this one was a _little_ longer than the last.

Shinji: Ya tried.

Thanks, Shinji. At least you can be nice to me, unlike _**SOMEBODY**_ else I could mention!

Hichigo: Let me outta here!

Shinji: It's all you deserve.

(hugs Shinji)

Shinji: Read and Review.


	11. Remember Me

A/N: Hello, everybody! Well, I'm warning you, for some of the more sensitive viewers of this story, this chapter is going to make you cry. It made my editor cry.

Hichigo: Your editor is sensitive.

HOW DID YOU GET OUT? ICHIGO!

Ichigo: (glomps Hichigo and drags him back into the bedroom.)

Anyways, I'm sorry, Editor! (Demonyokokuramafan)

Shinji: Is it really right to call her your editor?

She views it before everyone else and gives me feedback and help, so yes, she is my editor.

Shinji: Okay. The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations. The authoress would like to warn ya that about chapters 13-14, the rating is going to go up to M.

Nel: Let's go!

Masochistic - Chapter 11: Remember Me

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

I ran through the rain that now showered over Karakura town, back to where Uuryu took me from. I was unable to tell my tears from the raindrops that soaked my entire body.

"_He's probably dead by now. I beat him up pretty good."_

Luppi…You bastard…I swear, I'll-

"_Even if you made it in time, what could you do?"_

What could I do? I didn't make another thought on the matter and ran, tripping over my own feet at least once. When I found Szayel, I assumed, from his changed appearance, this was his resurreccion. "Szayel!" I cried, getting on my knees next to him and turning my for a second to cough up blood. I lifted his head with my hand and used the other to rid the side of his face of his own blood. I didn't care that being here was practically suicide, as my illness was killing me slowly. I only cared about Szayel's life. "Szayel?" I inquired.

He grunted a little and his eyes clenched closed tighter before they opened, revealing pools of amber which widened when they spotted me. "A-A…me..?" He asked, shocked that I was there next to him.

"Yeah, It's me."

"W-why are…you here..?"

Along with the rain, my tears fell on the Octava's Espada's face. "I want to be." My voice began to crack, and blood flowed out of the corners of my mouth before I turned my head and coughed it all onto the ground. "I…wanted to see you one more time."

I turned to face him again, the rain washing away the blood on my face, and his eyes had that passionate, concerned look in them again along with a weak smile. "The…rain will…worsen your condition…" He then gasped sharply, his mid-section twitching.

"Szayel?" I managed to sit him up and he leaned on me with his side on my chest, keeping his wings out of the way. But they soon disappeared as he reverted to his original form. "Hang in there…I can get you help."

He shook his head slowly. "N-no…I just…won't make it Ame…"

I wanted to hold him closer, but decided against it because it might hurt him. "Don't say that…I don't want you to go…" I buried my face in his neck and choked back a sob. "Don't leave me…I think I know why I came here, and there's no way in hell I'm leaving!"

"Ame…look at me…" I did as told, and he pulled my head down so our foreheads were touching. I wondered how he managed to do this with the beating he got. "You have to…I can't…last much longer…I don't…want you to, either…but we have no choice…" He twitched, and I assumed it was another surge of pain.

"Easy, Szayel. You're straining yourself…"

He sighed. "It's…alright…" He looked down with his eyes, keeping our foreheads together, then returned his gaze to me. "Ame…I need to…tell you something…"

I held back another bloody cough and nodded. "What is it..?"

"I kept…saving your life…risking my own neck for yours…because I…" Before he continued, he did something I didn't expect. He weakly touched his lips to mine for a split second, causing my blood to rush somewhere other than my throat. "…I couldn't…stand the thought of you being gone…I needed to know…that you were safe…" He touched his lips to mine again before he continued speaking. "…If I couldn't be with you…the least I could do was protect you…And I did…to my last breath…I couldn't ask for more than this…dying in your arms…the last thing I see being your goddess-like face…a God and a Goddess…I love the sound of that…If only I could stay…"

His grip began to weaken, and I held him gently so he didn't fall back down into the mud. My blush was dark. I honestly didn't know why he thought I was so great. I was nothing.

Disregarding my own thoughts of myself, I pressed my lips to his, and the corner of his mouth twitched into a half-smile as he made a satisfied sound in his throat, eyes closed. It didn't last long as he gasped in pain and held back a scream. "Szayel?" I gasped, looking over his face, concerned.

"I'm…about done for, Ame…" He said. As if to confirm this, his chest jumped and I could feel his pulse struggling, causing him to grunt. "Yes…there's the heart failure…"

"Szayel…" The flow of my tears was so heavy that only now could you tell them from the rain that stormed on Szayel Aporro and I.

A clap of thunder was the first death bell as lightning flashed across the sky. I quickly turned my head to let out the sea of blood I'd been holding back and coughed a few times before looking back at my beloved Arrancar.

"Don't cry…Be strong, Ame…Now…take this…"

He weakly slipped a small item into my hand and kissed my cheek. "Hm? What's this..?"

"Your official…ownership of me…"

With another thunder clap's death bell and a quickly lit sky which, in a split second faded to black, Szayel Aporro Granz died in my arms with a slight smile that disappeared with his warmth. "Szayel?" I inquired, just to make sure. "Szayel?"

Even though he told me not to cry, I couldn't keep myself from doing so. His body began to fade to black, just as a hollow does when you kill it, and soon, all that was left of him was the small item he'd placed in my palms. I ran over its features with my thumb and popped it open, taking a small, odd-shaped object out of it that had lay among others. I smiled, even though it was a strange concept.

He literally gave me his heart.

A/N: Okay, it's finally up! Did you wait for very long?

Shinji: If they really cared, they probably did.

I guess. But isn't that mean to the readers?

Shinji: …Oops

Nel: Read and Review!


	12. Tormenting Opprotunities

A/N: Gah, so many stories and…. GAH!

Shinji: Calm down, you're doing your best.

Thanks, Shinji…

Shinji: You're welcome.

Disclaimer?

Shinji: Gladly. The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations. The authoress would like to warn ya that about chapters 13-14, the rating is going to go up to M.

Yes, I'm sorry, my readers 16 and under. You may continue to read anyways if you wish. (Between you and me, I read Yaoi lemon fics and I'm under 17) Now, we shall continue!

Masochistic - Chapter 12: Tormenting Opportunities

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

After that incident, I once again found myself stumbling around the Soul Society with blood coming up my throat every so often.

"Ame, go lie down! You're not in any condition to be walking around! You'll over-exhaust yourself!" Lieutenant Abarai exclaimed.

"I can't, sir. It'll pass." I replied. I was going to listen to Szayel. I would stay strong.

"Ame, this is crazy!"

"I'll be fine, sir. Don't worry." As if to tell me I was wrong, something caught me foot, and I tripped. I looked up, and my Chibi-Szayel was a few feet away from me. I tried to get to it before Lieutenant Abarai did, but in my weak state, I failed to do so, and he picked it up.

His eyes widened, and he went to crush it, but I grabbed the bottom of his Hakama and his attention turned to me. "What the hell is this?" He threw it down, and I gently grasped the little doll before it could hit the floor. "What are you doing with something like that?"

I managed to get up to at least my knees and put the little doll back where I was keeping it. "I'll be going now, sir." I got to my feet and continued on, ignoring my lieutenant yelling after me.

This was probably a very bad idea, but it had to be done. Aizen had to pay. And the only way to do that was to get on his good side.

I opened the Senkaimon and passed through it, knowing Luppi was still in the World of the Living, to begin the enactment of my plan. "Luppi!' I shouted to get his attention.

As if he knew I was coming, he appeared in front of me. "What? You're here again?" He asked.

"I need to borrow this." I grabbed his head and ripped his hollow mask remains off before running him through the chest with my zanpakuto.

He gasped in surprise, his eyes widening at my speed to finish him. "H-how..?"

"You killed Szayel. You have to go." And with that, I wrenched my zanpakuto sharply in his chest, letting his blood pour out in twin waterfalls on either side of his heart. It was easier than last time. I didn't use Bankai either time. Why didn't I use Bankai the first time? Oh yeah. Too much collateral-

My thoughts were cut off by a sudden surge of pain running through my blood veins. I looked at my hand that had the remains of Luppi's mask, and as the Sexta Espada faded, the mask remains grew up my arm. The pain was overwhelming, but I stood there and took it. Once it reached the left side of my face, it formed a bottom half of a left jaw reminiscent of Grimmjow's mask before the rest of it shattered.

I fell to my knees from the pain of the mask attaching itself to my face, and Yoru rattled in his sheath. The worst pain came from a hollow hole ripping itself into my body, resting on top of my chest. The sound of the flesh and muscle made my stomach churn, and the pain made me want to collapse. I stayed on my hands and knees, enduring it as best as I could. I had to. I had to do it for Szayel…

"What do we have here?" A somewhat familiar voice asked teasingly.

I looked over at the voice's owner as best as I could, and there stood Nnoitra Jiruga and Gin Ichimaru- the Quinto Espada being the speaker. "Ugh, it's the Creepy Smile Brigade…" I groaned.

Jiruga picked me up from around my waist with one arm and took my face in the other. "It's a good thing she did this. She's a gem."

"Now, now, behave, Nnoitra. Aizen merely told us to bring her to him." Gin reminded him.

Perfect. Just as planned. "Put me down, Jiruga. I can walk." I snapped.

Nnoitra's expression became slightly shocked, and Gin's eyes opened slightly in interest. "…Ichimaru?" The Quinto Espada asked.

"Put her down, and let's be on our way." The questioned replied.

Nnoitra did as told and I followed the two of them through the Garganta. We stepped out right into the Espada meeting room. "Ah, there you are. I was honestly expecting more yelling." Aizen said from his place at the table. "Welcome, Miss Kuchiki."

I knelt and hung my head. "Lord Aizen."

I heard someone make a surprised sound, and I moved my eyes to see that it was Grimmjow. "Octava." One of the other Espada said.

Everyone looked at Harribel, whom had said this. "What was that, Harribel?" Aizen inquired.

"I think she should be Octava. It's the only spot available since Grimmjow can be here to replace Luppi, and I'm sure she can beat Aaroneiro, so we don't have to promote him."

"Any objection to this, Ame?"

"No, my lord. She's probably right." I replied. Ironic that I was to be put at Szayel's rank. How serendipitous.

"I see. Well, then. This meeting is dismissed. Nnoitra, show her to her domain."

I looked over at the Espada who was easily a foot taller than me, and he was making a strange face I couldn't define with an emotion. Interested, maybe? "With pleasure." He said as he led me out. I followed him down several halls until we reached a room that had different colors of smoke coming from under the door that was across from a room with a large gothic "8" carved into the double doors. I assumed the smoke was coming from a lab of sorts. "Your uniform should be on the bed. We'll get that "8" fixed onto you later." Shit, tattoo… Oh, well. It's worth it.

I pushed the double doors open and looked around. The room was rather large, and chemistry notations and formulas were scripted on the walls. I never knew much about Szayel since I lost him so quickly… But I suppose this meant he was the scientist of the Espada. I was fascinated- I was rather proficient in these things myself (Though I refused to be on Kurotsuchi's squad). That lab _will_ be useful after all. "Magnificent." I said out loud, walking up to the wall and touching the tips of my fingers to a formula.

I was then alarmed by the door closing and footsteps coming up behind me. But before my hand could touch my zanpakuto, I had been turned around and my back was slammed against the wall. "You're actually kinda cute. I can see why Granz was interested."

I looked away and made a sound of disgust. "I don't know what you're talking about."

Before I knew it, my Chibi-Szayel was out of my clothing and in Nnoitra's hand. "Don't you?"

I reached for it, but Nnoitra held it well above my head and stopped me by holding me to the wall by my chest. "Give him back!"

I gasped, and tears flowed out of my eyes as he started to close his hand. "Don't start. I'll give it back. But for as long as you're here, you have to do whatever I say."

I looked down, knowing this probably couldn't end too well, but nodded. "Fine."

His usual wide smile widened even more as he shoved Chibi-Szayel into my chest. "I'll see you later then, pet."

What the hell did I just get myself into?

A/N: GAH, too short! *sits in the emo corner*

Shinji: Calm down. At least some of the later chapters are longer.

Thanks…

Hichigo: LET ME OUTTA HERE!

A, When you can be nice, and B, when Ichigo's done with you.

Hichigo: You bitch.

*sticks tongue out*

Nel: Read and Review!


	13. Toys and Knowledge

A/N: Okay, sorry about not updating Masochistic, I have other stories that desperately needed attention, and this one has 13 chapters up as of this chapter. So I am sorry.

Shinji: Well, if they really wanted to read it, they'd wait as long as they needed to.

I guess. But that seems cruel. Do you mind going ahead and doing the disclaimer?

Shinji: Not at all. The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic was rated T for mild coarse language and teen situations. The authoress would like to warn ya that about chapters 13-14, the rating is going to go up to M.

Which 13 just so happens to be this one! So the rating's going up! The new reasons are drugging, sexual situations, and all the reasons that you may find! Come on.

Masochistic - Chapter 13: Toys and Knowledge

**Ame Kuchiki's POV**

I stood there in Szayel's lab, eyes wide, fascinated with everything at my disposal. Was this even more advanced than Kurotsuchi? Had to be, Szayel was much better than Kurotsuchi.

"Master Szayel Aporr-" I heard something say before it cut itself off and hid behind the wall.

I turned to look at where it was hiding and tilted my head in curiosity. "Come out. It's alright." I said. The owner of the voice listened and stood there with a few others and one identical to itself. "Szayel's fraccion?"

"Where's Master Szayel Aporro?" They all asked in unison.

I looked down, tears flowing out of my eyes as I fell to my knees and held back a sob. "Szayel…"

"It's Mistress Ame!" One exclaimed, and I saw them all start jumping up and down. They were all ecstatic.

"Mistress Ame!"

Their words caught my attention. "What did you call me?" I inquired, curious as to what was going on.

"You're Master Szayel Aporro's Goddess- Mistress Ame!"

I blushed. His fraccion knew about me? And called me their Mistress? And on top of that, what's this about me being a-

"…_a God and a Goddess…I love the sound of that…"_

Oh. He called me that regularly? Around his fraccion? Did I really mean that much to him?

Getting to my feet, I walked over to a bunch of potions on the counter and picked one up to look at it. If I had access to all of this, I could definitely accomplish something here. Feeling a tug on my white Espada hakama and looked down to see one of the fraccion I assumed I was taking over. "Where's Master Szayel Aporro?"

Hearing his name put a knot in my heart, but I sighed and touched one of my sleeve-covered hands to the "8" on my stomach. It still kinda hurt, too… "Szayel…was killed. His assassin was taken care of, but the actual murderer…"

To keep my mind occupied, I tried to adjust the small strip of cloth that didn't cover much of my chest that seemed to be all I had of a shirt other than my very long sleeves. I could tell one of the more perverted members was in charge of this… Maybe it was that damned Nnoitra. But my mind was turned back to the obnoxiously painful subject from before by one of the fraccion. "Master Szayel Aporro is dead!"

"He's dead!" The rest began to yell, not seeming to pleased about it, either.

"Silence!" I snapped. They all did so immediately, and looked at me. I liked this: Free access to scientific material, subordinates who listen to me, and _power_. I never had any of this, along with free will. But with Aizen, that free will thing will be a problem… "The more you say it, the less likely it is for us to focus and fix said problem."

"Yes, Mistress Ame!"

Pointing to the door, I looked at them sincerely. "I'm going to work on a few things, so I want you to keep an eye out for-" The door opened and closed, and I looked to see just who I'd hoped it wasn't. "-Nnoitra."

"Trying to avoid something, Octava?" He asked, his eyes wandering somewhere lower than my face as he walked towards me, and the closer he got, the clearer it was where his eyes were. My hollow hole. "An interesting place for a woman's hollow hole…" As he spoke, his fingers rolled around in the mentioned void, making me feel slightly queasy.

When he grabbed my wrist and pulled me to him, I had to wonder what the hell was going on in that spoon-hooded head of his. "What are you doing?"

I got my answer when his lips met mine, and his tongue rolled over the inside of my mouth. "We had an agreement." He reminded me when he pulled away.

_This _is what he meant? You've gotta be kidding me! "You didn't tell me there was… physical contact involved!"

He laughed loudly and traced my collarbone with one of his pale, thin fingers. I was suddenly reminded of Szayel's caressing, glove-covered ones, and tears came out of my eyes involuntarily. "You should have guessed, and… Why the hell are you crying?"

Once I realized he was looking at them, I looked away. "No reason. What do you want?" I was infuriated with the Quinto and wanted to get him out of Szayel's lab as quickly as possible.

"Can't you tell?"

"It's hard when I'm looking at a face like that!" A low growl erupted from my throat as my face turned back to look at his.

He took my face in his hand that wasn't holding me to him and brought it to his. "A fiery one with a will… I like it. You're gonna be a rough one. Just the way I want it…" A chuckle came from him as his tongue traced my lips, and I closed my eyes in disgust.

"Bullshit! Like I'd ever sleep with you!"

"You say it like you have a choice. Well, I suppose you do, but the other choice you have is losing that little Granz you carry around… I could easily tale it from you and crush it into a million pieces. I can make your life a living hell."

Looking into his serpentine eyes, I could tell he wasn't lying. He was three ranks above me, after all, I couldn't take that chance. "I…" The only thing I could see in my head was Szayel. I couldn't think about losing all I had left of him, but would he want me doing this over him? However, in my selfish fit of love for Szayel, I nodded slowly. "Do what you must…"

He snarled and slapped me across my face before pushing me into a punch of potions which shattered and spilled all over me. "Pitiful… You're letting yourself be used because you won't let go of some stupid-ass psychopath! I can't believe Aizen let some Noble bitch in here because he thought you had strength. What's power without a backbone? Get off your ass and prove you ain't just some pampered princess who fell in love!"

Looking at the ground and the mixtures that pooled around my feet, I pondered his words. Was that all I was? I couldn't fight anyways, and I didn't seem too strong. As I was thinking about it, Szayel's fraccion came to my side. "Mistress Ame!" They cried out.

As they pulled the glass out of my arms and back, I looked up at Jiruga through the curtain of my potion-soaked hair. I waved my hand, calling the fraccion off and stood up, shaking some of the blood/potion mixture off my arms. "Oh? You're actually going to test me?"

I reached behind me as Nnoitra approached me, and grabbed a random mixture. I had no idea what it was, but it would distract him if thrown in his face. When he grabbed my free wrist and pulled me to him, I brought the potion forward forcefully, only to be stopped by his hand. "Shit!" I gasped out loud.

He chuckled and slipped the mixture out of my hand, holding it with his fingers. "Hm…What were you planning to do with this, my little pet?" I bit my lip, refusing to answer. "Well, I've got an idea…"

"Mistress Ame!" Szayel's fraccion exclaimed as the Quinto Espada held my face in his hand after releasing mine.

"Come here, Octava." Feeling his nails dig into my skin made me whine and gasp, and he took advantage of this by pouring the mixture I'd failed to smash against his face down my throat. It burned and soothed my throat at the same time, and it tasted rather pleasant… But what the hell was it?

"What the…?" I asked out loud. My vision began to blur, and I couldn't keep myself up, so I fell to my knees. I could hear loud laughing as something that I assumed was Nnoitra's hand pulled me onto my feet.

"Well, now, somehow or another, seeing you weak and helpless is kinda sexy…" Something pressed against my lips which I deciphered as his mouth when I felt something wet roll over my tongue. "And damn, you taste good…"

"Get the fuck off of me…"

A chuckle reached my ears as something pressed against the front of my hips. "I don't think so. It'd be such a shame to let a gem like you out of my grasp." There was a sharp pain in my bottom lip, and I whimpered at it, eliciting another chuckle from him. "When drugged, you're a fun little toy. You're mine, you hear? Or Szayel's gone."

I nodded, clenching my hands into fists and whatever was touching my pelvic area rolled against it. Oh hell, was I in for it… Feeling his hips continue to roll against mine caused me to whimper, and occasionally, I tried to pull away from him, but my weakened, drugged body wouldn't listen to me. "Oh? You're still trying? I thought that nod gave your body to me and protected Granz…"

I stopped moving and nodded again. "Y-Yes…I'm sorry…" I replied.

"Good girl. Now down." I fell to the floor, feeling the grasp on me release, and hearing a loud laugh. My head began to throb, and I started coughing, feeling a warm liquid coming with them. "Huh? Oh yeah, Lord Aizen said you were sick… Huh. The sight of your blood gives me ideas… How much you like pain, Kuchiki?"

"Whatever you want…" I said, feeling defeated. I couldn't fight back in my state, I couldn't even see. Szayel, I'm sorry for anything and everything he does to me…

"Jiruga, just because we get a new female, that doesn't mean you can harass her." A slightly familiar voice stated as footsteps approached.

"Agh, Ichimaru, come on! She's fuckin' sexy! You want me to pass this up? I've already got her bending to whatever the hell I want!" Nnoitra snarled back.

"Don't try my patience. Leave her lab." I heard the sound of a sonido, and then more footsteps. "Oh, he's using you and backing himself up with blackmail, isn't he? You really shouldn't be here, Miss Kuchiki."

"Szay…el…" I said quietly.

"Hm? Ah, I see… Well, then, I'd better be on my way! Good luck, Kuchiki! Bye bye!"

Once I was alone, I tried to get my vision and thoughts straight. "Well, easier said than done…"

A/N: GAH, 1: I'm sorry this took so long! 2: I'm sorry about Nnoitra's behavior. Bad… 3: This probably sucks now, don't it? Sorry…

Hichigo: Everything you do sucks, you know that?

I know…

Shinji: *slams Sakanade's hilt on the top of Hichigo's head* Read and Review.


	14. Plans and Torment

A/N: Okay, time for chapter 14, who's ready? (with extreme enthusiasm)

Hichigo: Oh, shut the fuck up already! Nobody gives a shit about you!

(makes big sad eyes) You're so cruel, Hichigo…

Hichigo: Damn right!

Hmph! Fine, then. You're out of here! SECURITY!

Hichigo: She didn't mean it! The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated M for coarse language, sexual moments, and mature situations.

Alright, then! Go on ahead and read it!

Masochistic - Chapter 14 - Plans and Torment

Ame Kuchiki's POV

"_Szayel!" I called out, reaching for the previous Octava. What was he doing here, and how is he alive?_

"_Ame…" He said gently before shifting into something at least a foot taller._

_Nnoitra. "Let's play a game, Kuchiki!" He laughed. I tried to retract my hand before he could grab it, but I failed to do so. "That's not nice. Come on…"_

"_Let go of me!" I demanded, trying to hit him with my free hand, but it went right through him. "Wha-?"_

"_You can't hit me, Kuchiki…" He then forced my mouth open with his and thoroughly explored it with his tattooed tongue. When he was finished with that venture, he pushed me to the ground and the back of my head cracked against it._

I gasped and sat up, looking around and trying to catch my breath. "Wha..?" I wondered out loud.

A knock on the door alarmed me, and I cringed back towards the headboard. "Octava, why're you screaming when I ain't in there?" The annoyingly familiar voice of Nnoitra asked as the door opened.

Oh hell, he's such a fuckin' creeper! "Nnoitra, just back off for a little bit, I just woke up!" I snapped.

He closed the door and walked towards me with a wider smirk than usual on his face. "That's good…" I held my breath when he got on the bed and was over me on his hands and knees, taking my face in one of his hands. "Are you still tired, Octava? I must've worked you really well yesterday. And I didn't even fuck you…"

"I'd like to keep it that way."

He chuckled and kissed my hollow mask before biting my lower lip. "Come on now, Kuchiki, it wouldn't be that bad… Although Aizen would probably murder me. He hates it when I play with the females…"

"The only thing I could thank Aizen for after he had Szayel killed…"

He scowled and slapped me across my face, cracking my mask a little. I had to say, that hurts a lot, but I didn't dare make any noises that satisfied is bloodlust. Or any other kind of lust he had towards me… "You're never going to let go of that psychopath, are you, Octava?"

"He's a lot more sane than you'll ever be!" I was tired of him constantly calling Szayel psycho or crazy. He was perfect in every way, and he didn't deserve being called things like that, especially from Nnoitra's disgusting mouth. "Don't talk about people you don't understand!"

His eyes widened in what seemed to be amusement, and I felt cold fingers slid up and down my spine and ribcage. I breathed in sharply and bit my lip, not wanting to believe my body was liking this, and grabbed one of his wrists to try and pull his hand away. "You're so adorable when you're angry and defiant… I might just risk it and take you…"

I was trapped. I can't say anything, or he'll turn it against me. There has to be some way… I know I can't fight him off, he ranks higher. But maybe I can outwit him… I'm definitely smarter, right? Or am I so stupid that I can't even outfox a sex-driven maniac like Jiruga? "Is that how you want to end your life? Being killed for having sex? If Aizen-sama does not like it, then he will no doubt get angry with you." A familiar voice said.

We both look towards the door to see Ulquiorra standing there. Why would he even be here? "Aw… Ulquiorra, what the hell? This doesn't have anything to do with you."

"I have been appointed to keep you in line and an eye on Miss Kuchiki. Now if you are not here to simply speak with her, which you are clearly not, then you should leave."

"Oh, what do you care, Cifer?" His grin widened as his hand slid across my stomach, his eyes still locked on Ulquiorra. I squirmed a little, not liking him anywhere near or on me, and dug my nails into the arm of the hand on my stomach. He looked at me amused and pulled my hand off, licking his blood off my fingertips. "You really are an interesting little arrancar, aren't you?"

The next thing I knew, there was blood on my face and a couple of the walls, but it wasn't mine. I looked to see that Ulquiorra had slashed Nnoitra through his shoulder and pushed him across the room. "Aizen-sama said specifically not to harm her or make her uncomfortable in any way, Quinto. Sexual Harassment falls into the above categories. Now leave her room immediately."

Jiruga growled, but left anyways. I became slightly afraid of Ulquiorra. I wasn't sure what his real intentions were, or if he was really telling the truth about Aizen instructing him to do so, but I didn't wanna take any chances. "What was that for?" I asked.

"Ruka would be upset if I didn't help you when I can."

Ruka…? "What does Ruka have to do with this?"

He looked me in the eyes, but showed no emotion as usual. "Nothing. Forget it. You have gotten yourself into trouble with Quinto, I see."

I looked down before standing up and tracing some of the notations on the wall. "I had it under control."

"Then why was he on top of you?"

I blushed from embarrassment and looked away from him. "You wouldn't understand. I have my reasons for letting him treat me the way he does, and you don't need to know about them."

"Something to do with Octava, I presume?" His footsteps approached as I leaned on the wall, my hand curling into a fist against the same wall.

I nodded. "Cuatra, please… Just go."

"And if Quinto comes back? Aizen did, in fact, put me in charge of you. If anything happens to you, he will be very displeased."

"What do you care?"

His footsteps headed in the direction of the door and I looked over my shoulder to see what he was doing. "I do not." He then left the room, and I stood there for a minute before actually changing.

So Grimmjow for Riva and Ulquiorra for Ruka? Is that how this is panning out? I mentally slapped myself as I walked out of my room and into the lab. That wasn't any of my concern anymore. At all. I couldn't think about Ruka or Riva or anything else involving the Soul Society. If I so much as stepped in there, the arrancar that I am now, they would all have no hesitation to kill me. I wouldn't be surprised if they didn't even recognize me… But this was important to me, so Ruka and Riva would at least understand…

I shook the thoughts out of my head as I closed the door to the lab and walked over to the counters. I then thought about what I was really doing here. Getting revenge for Szayel, right? What could this lab really do for me? Killing Aizen would involve brute strength. But maybe… I didn't have to kill Aizen? I already rid the worlds of Luppi, did Aizen really have to go just because he _ordered_ Luppi? No.

But maybe… Just _maybe,_ something in this lab can bring Szayel back to me? Taking Chibi-Szayel out, I popped it open and looked at all the little mini organs. Everything was here and in order - well, to an extent. Maybe this…? Is this what Szayel was really counting on when he gave this to me? He wants me to…

Fuck, why didn't I think of this before? This is what I needed the whole time! This little mini-Szayel is my key to getting Szayel back. I can have him back… I can look into his amber eyes and feel the touch of his hand… What a breakthrough. "Lumina, Verona!" I yelled

Unfortunately, fate must hate my guts because as soon as the twin arrancars approached, I heard the door open and slam shut. I turned my head hesitantly to look at who came in, and gods forbid that it couldn't be Nnoitra. "Octava, that was a slick move using Cuatra as protection. But that only means that your resistance is getting you double-time." He chuckled. "Which actually sounds fun…"

I bit my lip, gulping quietly as I backed into the counter I was closest to. "Nnoitra, please… Not right now, I-" I couldn't finish before he got over to me and licked my lips.

"You what, Octava? You're too busy? You can't be too busy to have a little fun time with me, can you?" His hand cupped the side of my face as his tongue found its way to my neck, and I whimpered quietly. That noise was cute, do it again…"

His hands found their way to my sides and one to my hip, but I tried my hardest not to do anything that would make this any better for him when I was miserable. I bit my lip to the point of bleeding to keep noises back,, but it dripped onto his nose and he looked up at me. "Octava, that isn't fair…" He hissed in a lustful tone as the fingers on his hand that was on my hip slipped under my hakama. I squirmed and whined much like a dog, causing him to chuckle. "Much better. You're a fun little toy…"

"Sick bastard…" I snarled. I was then prevented from saying anything as he licked the cut in my lip caused by my teeth.

"Well, that's probably the nicest thing you've said so far…" As he spoke, his cold fingers made toys out of the nerves in my spine, causing me to quietly moan involuntarily. "Too bad those arousing noises are the only things that work for me. So come on. Do it again."

Instead of listening, I breathed in sharply when my ribcage became his next expected stimulant point. "No." I snapped.

"That attitude of yours is only going to make it worse on you… But this is gonna be a hell of a lot of fun for me… Might as well just give in and enjoy it like you know you want to."

I shook my head and reached behind me, hoping this wouldn't backfire like last time. He seemed occupied, so it didn't look like he could. My hand wrapped around a small blade of some sort, and I brought it forward into his shoulder. "FUCK!" He hissed, glaring at the small bloody wound when he drew back and brought his hand to it. Taking advantage of this, I was quick to sonido to another part of the lab and look for where the door was. "Feisty little bitch, aren't you?"

"Damn it!" I muttered angrily when his fingers wrapped around one of my sleeve-covered wrists. The small blade that went into Nnoitra's shoulder met with the side of my head and I screamed in pain, pulling on his hand to pull it out.

"If you're gonna be violent, I can play that game, Octava." He gnawed relentlessly at my neck until he finally pulled the blade out of my head, and I held a hand over the wound, falling to my knees. Damn, that hurt… Quinto's laughing broke me from thought, and I turned my head to look at him just in time for him to pin me down. "You're amusing… You like pain, Octava?"

"Not particularly…" I murmured, looking away from him as I began to cough and blood came with it.

He laughed, pulling on my clothes and breathing in my ear. "Too bad. I'm gonna hurt you anyways." Holding me down with one hand, he pulled my clothes off with the other before using it to tease my ribcage while his tongue worked at my collarbone.

"Nn!" I whined when I felt him push into me, and looked for some way to get him off of me, and I looked at his thumb right next to my mouth. Perfect.

His scream of pain filled my ears and I sighed in relief from his sexual torture after I bit his thumb, breaking it and spattering blood all over my face. "You little bitch!" His hand slammed against my hollow mask with a loud cracking noise, smacking the blood out of my mouth and causing pieces of it fell to the floor in small shards. "What the fuck do you think you're pulling?" I cried out in pain as he pounded my insides quickly and forcefully, biting my lip and clenching my hands closed.

He pushed me up against the side of a counter and continued with his antics until The slamming of the door alarmed us both, just in time for him to release in my body. Great. Horrible timing… "Jiruga, what did I tell you? Sexual harassment is against Aizen's orders, and not only did you harass her, you acted on your intentions." Ulquiorra stated, jerking the Quinto off the floor by his hair and throwing my clothes to me without looking at me once. "Leave before I act on _my_ intentions and kill you."

Nnoitra chuckled and stood up after quickly sliding back into his clothes. "Oh well. I had my fun with the girl. I'll see you later then, pet."

I got back into my clothes and stood up as best as I could after the head injury given. "Why are you here again, Cuatra?" I asked, walking over to the computer and typing things in files.

"You were being raped and someone had to stop him." He answered instantly in his usual monotonous tone.

I growled and stood up immediately, turning to look at him with a tight grip on the back of the chair. "I had it under control!"

"If he ejaculated inside of you, how is that 'under control'?"

"Because if I don't give him what he wants, he'll take what I have left of Szayel away from me!"

His eyes widened a little, and he turned to the door. "Very well. I understand. But if it should become too much for you, you may rely on myself or Jeagerjaques."

When he left, I looked at myself in the computer screen through the files and shook my head. How on earth could I pull this off with Nnoitra hounding me?

A/N: FINALLY! I'm sorry that took FOREVER. I have school now, and I keep getting distracted, (I'm currently addicted to The Sims 2...) and I have other fanfics I must work on.

Hichigo: Pay attention to Bleach. They'll love you more.

You don't care anyways.

Hichigo: Oh so very true.

Shinji: Read and Review. *throws Hichigo into the wall*


	15. Big Brother's Condition

A/N: Okay, I actually had a few useless chapters in this fanfic, so I twisted them around a bit. HOORAH! Actually, not so much, they may end up acting as filler chapters any-damn-way. But I'll try my best to connect it to the story.

Hichigo: Do you ever shut up?

Nope! GET OVER IT.

Hichigo: Okay, okay… The authoress owns nothing in this fanfic except for her OC and the plot. Any other OCs that come in probably belong to Demonyokokuramafan. This fic is rated M for coarse language, sexual moments, and mature situations. Another OC of hers is going to come in this chapter.

Y'all might like him.

Masochistic - Chapter 15: Big Brother's Condition

Ame Kuchiki's POV

I sat in the chair that was in front of the computer in the lab, wondering what I was going to do. I don't want Nnoitra to do that again. Ever. But I had to, to keep what I need to have Szayel back. What could I do in my position? Damn it, I'm a sorry excuse for even an Arrancar, I can't figure THIS out on my own? Maybe if I just found some way to stall Nnoitra…. But what could I say or do to him to stall him? He predicts potion use, and not even HE'S dumb enough to fall for some stupid ass excuse…

"Yah sure 'bout tha' one, 'cause 'e seems pretty damn stupid t' me." A familiar voice said from behind me. I rotated the chair to look at him, and sure enough, there he was, sitting on one of the counters. "Been ah while since ah got outta there. An' lemme tell yah, Nnoitra's pissin' me off t' ah poin'."

"Yoru, what are you doing out here? That's not like you to leave your domain." I stated, looking at the zanpakuto with curiosity.

He moved his long black hair behind his shoulder and shrugged, glaring his hollow-like eyes at the door. "Don' wan' yah t' keep talkin' t' yahself… Worries me for yah sanity."

I laughed and turned back to the computer. "And since when did you ever worry about my sanity? Last time I checked, you said I didn't have any."

"Well, this whole 'give Quinto wha' 'e wan's sah 'e'll leave yah Szayel 'lone' thin's worryin' me. D'yah realize wha's wrong with tha'?" He looked at me seriously for the first time since… Ever, I guess, and I got what he was saying.

"Yeah, I know, Yoru. But I… I just can't give up on this yet. I'm pretty damn close, and-"

Alarms going off caught my attention from the chamber where I was attempting to bring Szayel back, and Yoru looked at me with a face that said 'Stay calm, Ame.' Trying to stay calm while doing so, I went over to the chamber quickly and pried the doors open as quickly as I could. When it opened, I couldn't see much past the smoke, but when it cleared, my current fear was lying on the floor.

He was there, and seemingly conscious, but he was in bits and pieces… and a lot of the skin and muscle was missing. I slammed the door closed and sank to the floor, unsure of what to do now. "'Ey, Ame, don' Szay 'ave an older brother ah somethin'? Maybe yah could get some DNA from 'im an' it might' 'elp."

I lifted my head and thought about it. But wasn't Yylfordt dead? I wasn't sure. I'd heard that he was, but Szayel-similar spiritual pressure had thrown me off the entire time I've been here… So Yylfordt's alive? How is that possible, though? I didn't have the time to debate this. I had to see if it would help.

…

I stood in front of the door of the room where Grimmjow's fraccion stayed, hoping to the gods that I wouldn't have too much trouble. I sucked it up anyways, knowing I'd gone through worse, and opened the door. Grimmjow's fraccion shouldn't have a problem, they are mannerless men after all. "Who are you?" One asked, standing right in front of me.

"Ame Kuchiki. The new Octava Espada." I replied, pointing to the gothic '8' on my stomach.

He blinked and looked over his shoulder at a blond man lying on the couch. "Hey, Granz, the chick who took over Octava from your brother's here."

"Let her in." He replied. I walked in and made sure I was aware of my surroundings; I had to be cautious. It seemed unneeded as the blond Arrancar stood up and walked over to me. "What brings you here, little sister?"

Uh… 'little sister'? That's not awkward at all… "Are you Yylfordt Granz?" I inquired.

He smirked and looked at the other Arrancar. "Di Roy, leave us. I'd like to have a word with her alone." The other fraccion member went into a separate room and Yylfordt sat back down on one end of the couch, motioning for me to do the same and I did so. "Did you need a favor?"

I put my hands up to my mouth under my sleeves, a habit I had picked up out of nowhere, and looked down to the side. "I need to borrow some DNA if you don't mind."

When I looked back at the blond, he had a raised eyebrow. "Whatever for?"

"…I can't bring him back."

"Who are you attempting to bring back, little sister?"

Remembering Szayel's reaction to Yylfordt's name when I fought him that one time, I wondered if it was the same way around. Was this a good idea? Would he go off? I still had to try, though… "S…Szayel."

He blinked and chuckled a little before full-out laughing. "Little brother? Why are you trying so hard for him?"

I blushed, feeling awkward with the though of saying 'I loved him' to Szayel's brother… I looked down again, thinking of a way to put it… "Um… Well, I…"

He made an interested sound, and I looked up at him to see a matching expression on his face. He chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair. " So I have every right to call you 'little sister'."

My blush darkened and I slammed my hands on the cushion between us. "W- we weren't-!"

"I know. Little brother would have rubbed it in my face if he had a woman. But he did want you, didn't he? And judging by the red on your face and the fact that you had the guts to come ask your dead lover's brother who he quarreled with to help bring him back shows you wanted him, too."

I became irritated with his use of 'lover' again and snapped at him. "I told you, we weren't-!"

The blond chuckled again, his brown eyes widening slightly in amusement. "Little sister, calm down. Now let's get back to the matter at hand. You want little brother back, correct?" I nodded and he looked off to the side. "And you need my DNA to do so."

"That's correct."

He sat there and thought about it for a while, tapping one of his fingers to his lips repeatedly. "Well… I suppose I can help you. But on one condition."

Oh gods, do I hate conditions… "What exactly are you asking?"

He noticed my nervousness and chuckled, lying back a little more than he had been. "It's nothing too serious. It's actually rather minor. A simple request that you and little brother do not stay here when he's alive."

I blinked at tilted my head to the side, wondering why he's asked something like that of me. "May I ask why?"

"You two simply don't belong here. He's in love with you, and you were never supposed to be an Arrancar, I can tell that much. I've heard the name Kuchiki before. You're the daughter of the captain Kuchiki. I think it's only reasonable that you two leave. The Soul Society or The World Of The Living, it doesn't particularly matter."

I had to admit, he had a point… I could probably think of a million reasons to leave after this. I didn't particularly like it here, and it wouldn't be somewhere I wanted to stay… Especially with Nnoitra harassing me. And if Szayel was around for that… I shuddered at the thought before nodding in agreement with Yylfordt's condition. "That's reasonable."

"Well then. Shall we?"

A/N: I'm out of school now, so that took longer than it should have, considering I've finished writing this story… I just have to type it all up…

Hichigo: And if you don't hurry up and finish it, I'll spoil the ending.

DON'T YOU DARE, I WILL KILL YOU AFTER HAVING YOU RAPED BY FANGIRLS.

Hichigo: (gulps)

Shinji: Read and Review.


	16. Semi Success

A/N: Okay, I'm sorry this didn't get up sooner, we had a large storm and my DSL box got fried… Thunder went off while I was like, just waking up and I almost fell off the couch…

Hichigo: Wuss.

I WAS LIKE, ASLEEP, DUDE! SHUT UP!

Hichigo: (blinks) The authoress owns nothing except Ame and the plot, rated M for all needed reasons! (runs)

Good. I ain't takin' his shit anymore… Now on to the chapter!

Masochistic - Chapter 16: Semi-Success

Ame Kuchiki's POV

"Ulquiorra, Grimmjow, down!" I yelled, ducking behind the lab counter I was working at as the two aforementioned Espada hid behind a wall, and I covered my head with my arms as my project exploded.

"Damn it, Kuchiki, careful!" Grimmjow snapped, walking over to me as I stood up. "What went wrong that time?"

I sighed, staring past them at the chamber I was using to bring back Szayel before turning back to my exploded project remnants. "I told you, I don't know. I have no base to work off of, no notes, nothing…" Brushing my fingers over the ash my exploded mixture had been reduced to, I began to think I couldn't get this done. I'd tried to become a Shinigami again over 63 times now… I think this made my 64th attempt… What was I missing…? I needed something to work off of, that's what I needed… But I never found anything in Szayel's lab like that…

"Couldn't you just rip your mask off? You said you'd do anything."

I looked at him with a look of disbelief. Why hadn't I thought of that? I touched the mask on the side of my face and crawled my fingers over the edge, touching the skin it was connected to. It didn't look like it hurt Luppi, but… I killed him shortly after, how could I tell? I shook my head and gripped the plastery material attached to my head, telling myself it didn't matter. I pulled on it roughly, biting my lip to the point that it bled at the pain, it started to come off-

My stomach _flipped. __**Hard**_.

My hand that was tearing my mask off flew to my stomach along with my other, and I threw up all over the floor. Ulquiorra and Grimmjow stepped back, looking at each other like they were surprised. Ulquiorra knelt next to me and inspected my hollow mask like there was something wrong with it he tapped his fingers to it and I flinched, the ripped skin under it stinging like hell. "Throwing up is not normal. We have all tried… At least the ones who get fed up with being here." He stated.

My stomach twisted and I nearly got sick again. Standing up, I gripped the counter and stared at my stomach, wondering what it was doing. Getting sick wasn't normal? What did that mean? I pushed my fingers around my stomach and a little lower, not able to trigger anything until I was around…

Oh. Dear. Fuck.

No. I chuckled nervously out loud, earning weird looks from Grimmjow and Ulquiorra before I started pacing.

No, no, no… This couldn't happen. This just couldn't. This is the worst thing imaginable… I groaned and slammed my forehead into the wall. I had forgotten that this would happen. I knew it could, but I didn't think it would actually happen. How could I let it? I couldn't face Szayel like this, I just couldn't. He'd… I don't even know what he'd do… Thinking I was alone, I dug my nails into the wall and cried, blood following my tears, coming out of my mouth even before I started coughing.

"Kuchiki? What's wrong with you, why is your mouth bleeding?" Grimmjow asked, walking up to me and looking at the blood-tear mix. "Ulquiorra, help me out here, I ain't a people person."

Blood surged out of my throat when I shook my head, covering my mouth with one of my sleeve-covered hands, staining the white fabric with the thick red liquid. I took in a few deep breaths and slammed my forehead into the wall one more time to get my thoughts straight. "No, I'm alright…" I said, going back to the counter I had previously been at.

"Octava, something had to make you break like that. You have been so strong so far. What made you break, Kuchiki?" Ulquiorra asked.

I wanted to say it was nothing. I wanted to hear my own voice tell me it was a lie. I wanted out of this predicament. And I couldn't give it up, it's still mine… I couldn't ever see Szayel again… What could I even do anymore? It was a lost cause to bring him back… This was fate, I'm sure… Fate never intended for me to see him again. Ever.

But… it must have intended for me to bring him back. After all, he was near alive again. It had been a month since I asked Yylfordt for help. Szayel would definitely be alive again, soon. I looked at the 97% on the chamber, then back at my stomach. Nnoitra separated us… Unintentionally, but he certainly did… Or maybe it's more of nature's fault… Or as I had blamed before… fate.

Or maybe I was jumping to conclusions. But then again, it would explain the almost non-existent round on my stomach. I ran my fingers over it, earning more strange looks from Grimmjow, and an almost-expressed shocked one from Ulquiorra. "Should I tell Ruka you will not be coming back?" He asked. "Surely you cannot go back to the Soul Society with that… hellspawn."

Something inside of me made me want to smack him, and part of me somewhat believed it would end that way. It was part of Nnoitra, after all… But I could fix that. I could… "It's not a hellspawn. Don't you dare say that again. I can make it better than that." I warned him. "Lumina, Verona, get me Urahara on my computer screen!"

"Do I want to know what's going on here?" Grimmjow asked, looking confused as hell.

"It's nothing, Jeagerjaques. I've just got to get out of here… If Szayel finds out-"

"Finds out what, pet?" The voice my mind registered as the most annoying in the world asked. I looked at the door to see it's even more irritating owner. Nnoitra chuckled and walked over to me, licking his lips as I took a step back. "What's our sneaky little Octava been up to? Have you been naughty behind your Owner _and_ Lover's backs?"

I whined much like a dog when he put his hands on my hips and bit my bottom lip. "Get off of me… I haven't done anything, and Szayel and I weren't like that!"

Grimmjow grabbed his hood and pulled him away from me, throwing him into the wall. "Get out of here, Jiruga. We don't need you making things worse than they already are. It's already a pain in the ass…" He sighed.

Ulquiorra looked at me with a warning look. "You might want to tear off your mask and get out of here before this gets any worse. Granz is almost alive, right? Did you not say he cannot find out about this?" He asked.

I nodded and sat at my computer as Grimmjow and Ulquiorra got rid of Nnoitra and gripped my hollow mask again. I gently rubbed my stomach and whispered a warning. "If you want to be safe, don't make me sick."

It was slightly more bearable the second time, but when the new rips started, it began to get worse, and my stomach almost flipped again. But I was concerned when I felt my chest thud rather hard when my mask hit the floor.

Please tell me I'd actually live through this…

…

I found myself sitting in front of the computer again, bandage wraps covering the side of my face my mask had been on. Tearing my mask off worked, sure enough, but my face bled like hell… It'll be worth it when I get out of here, though. I looked over my shoulder at the 99% on the revival chamber and sighed, getting up and walking over to it. I touched my fingertips to the door and pressed my forehead to it. "I'll miss you, Szayel." I said out loud as a garganta was opened behind me by Ulquiorra. Turning around, I stood infront of it before sighing. "Don't tell Ruka I went to The World Of The Living."

…

I guess it was winter here now. It was awfully cold. Urahara was able to get me a place at least. Along with a gigai and some Soul Candy if I would ever need it. Of course that last bit had to be paid for, but as I seem to be saying now, it's worth it.

I touched my stomach again and looked at it, running my fingers over it softly. "We're on our own now…"

A/N: Okay, yeah, I meshed some chapters again. I tried my best to not make it short, but I FAILED. Oh well. Don't stop reading yet, you've still got the Epilogue to look forward to! Oh, and the reason Ame said "plastery material" in reference to her hollow mask is because I've always thought of the hollow masks of having a plaster-like texture. Maybe bone.

Hichigo: Aw, fuck, there's an epilogue?

Yep! It's gonna be AWESOME!

Hichigo: Doubtful.

Shinji: Read and Review. (hits Hichigo in the head)


	17. Epilogue

A/N: Alright, this is the epilogue, guys! But don't worry, there's a special surprise for you at the end!

Hichigo: Why did you have to tell them that? They could have walked away, but you HAD to tell them that.

And all in favor of me evicting Hichigo, say "I".

Hichigo: (looks fearful) Authoress owns nothing except for Ame, Yoru, and the plot. Rated M for reasons you've already seen.

And now, our unfortunate end…

Masochistic - Epilogue

Szayel Aporro Granz's POV

Where is this? Am I alive? Ame was successful! "Ame?" I called, walking through the metal doors I had been in. "Ame, where are you?"

"Master Szayel Aporro!" The voices of my fraccion chorused as they swarmed at my feet.

"Lumina, Verona."

The two of them came to the front, and looked slightly nervous. "Y-Yes, Master Szayel Aporro?" They asked in unison.

"Where's Ame?"

"M…Mistress Ame left…"

I froze where I stood, appalled at what they had said. Ame left? Why would she leave? And after the effort she put into bringing me back? What on earth is this about? "Where did she go?" They didn't answer, and instead stared at the ground. "Lumina, Verona, where did she go?"

"Sh…She told us not to tell…"

My paranoia and concern took over my composition as I slammed my fist on the counter, my free hand grabbing Verona's head. "I will dissect you if you do not tell me where she is."

"Th…The World Of The Living!"

I blinked twice, taking a good fifteen minutes at the least to make sure I'd heard right. The World Of The Living? What would she be doing there? And why couldn't it wait until I came back? Was she coming back? There was a strong possibility she was and also that she wasn't. I had to follow her in case… She probably didn't tell them _where_ in The World Of The Living, but if I had to guess, Karakura Town… Even so, she's probably in a gigai if she doesn't plan on coming back, which means her Spiritual Pressure will be difficult to pinpoint…

And in any case, Aizen probably counts me as a traitor. I can't stay here, even if she does plan on returning. I didn't particularly like the idea of staying in The World Of The Living, but I couldn't stay here and die. I had to find Ame. My stomach churned at the thought that something might be wrong with her.

I sat at my computer and looked through a few files, seeing if she had left anything for me to follow. It proved in vain, and I opened a garganta, sighing before walking through it. I had to find her.

A/N: EPILOGUE FAIL. Oh well. At least you've got the sequel to look forward to!

Hichigo: (eye twitches) You have… more…?

Yup! Sorry, people, no sequel preview this time! It would give too much away!

Hichigo: Shut up…

Nel: Read and Review!


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